..續本文上一頁 of benefit. How
By interrupting our defeatist story lines and working intelligently and wisely with our kleshas.
4.43
This shall be my all-consuming passion;
Filled with rancor I will wage my war!
Though this emotion seems to be defiled,
It halts defilement and shall not be spurned.
In verse 43, this emotion is anger. Although it is usually seen as a problem, Shantideva takes a homeopathic approach and vows to use anger to cure anger. Rousing his passionate enthusiasm for the task, he proceeds with all-consuming warriorship and joy.
4.44
Better if I perish in the fire,
Better that my head be severed from my body
Than ever I should serve or reverence
My mortal foes, defiled emotions.
As the years go by, I understand this kind of passionate determination and confidence more and more. The choice is mine. I can spend my life strengthening my kleshas or I can weaken them. I can continue to be their slave; or, realizing they”re not solid, I can simply accept them as my own powerful yet ineffable energy. It”s increasingly clear which choice leads to further pain and which one leads to relaxation and delight.
4.45
Common enemies, when driven from the state,
Retreat and base themselves in other lands,
And muster all their strength the better to return.
But our afflictions are without such stratagems.
4.46
Defiled emotions, scattered by the eye of wisdom!
Where will you now run, when driven from my mind
Whence would you return to do me harm
But oh—my mind is feeble. I am indolent!
Now Shantideva presents the bright side. He is joyful that he can free himself from the kleshas and expresses this joy from verse 45 to the end of the chapter.
Happiness comes with knowing that once they”re uprooted by the eye of wisdom, the kleshas can never return. Their power evaporates once we see their empty, ephemeral nature. Dzigar Kongtrul recalls how terrified the youngest monks in his monastery would be by the annual snow lion dance. When they got older and realized the snow lion wasn”t real, that it was only a costume, they automatically lost their fear. This is an apt analogy for the essential emptiness of the kleshas.
4.47
And yet defilements are not in the object,
Nor yet within the faculties, nor somewhere in between.
And if not elsewhere, where is their abode
Whence they might wreak their havoc on the world
They are simple mirages, and so—take heart!
Banish all your fear and strive to know their nature.
Why suffer needlessly the pains of hell
Despite all this war imagery, Shantideva is not really encouraging us to do battle with the kleshas. He is asking us to examine them carefully and discover their illusory nature.
The next time you start to get angry, ask yourself, “Where does this klesha abide
Does it abide in the person I”m angry with
Does it abide in my sense perceptions
Or somewhere in between
What is the nature of this anger
And who is it that”s angry
”
Look closely, too, at how you fuel the kleshas with your thoughts. Just look at any thought and ask: Where did this thought come from
Where is it right now
And then, “Where did it go
” If you can find anything solid to hold on to when you look at the arising, dwelling, and passing of a thought, I”d like to be the first to know.
We build up fantasy worlds in our minds, causing the kleshas to escalate. Then, like awakening from a dream, we discover this fantasy has no substance and the kleshas have no basis.
My friend”s father has Alzheimer”s disease. Previously he was a very angry man. But since he lost his memory, he”s changed. Because he can”t remember what he was angry about, he can”t fuel his bitterness. When he becomes irritated, he just can”t make it stick. Without his story lines, the causes for anger dissolve.
Of course we don”t always feel up to working so attentively with our kleshas. As Shantideva says, our minds sometimes seem feeble and lazy. But take heart: we don”t have to gear up for a big struggle. The enemy is a mirage!
4.48
This is how I should reflect and labor,
Taking up the precepts just set forth.
What invalid in need of medicine
Ignored his doctor”s words and gained his health
Just as a sick person won”t get well without following her doctor”s advice, we won”t be helped by these teachings unless we put them into practice. This is not academic study; we could study the Bodhicaryavatara daily, and still keep strengthening our kleshas. These teachings are a way of life. To awaken bodhicitta, nurture it, and have it flourish, take Shantideva”s words very personally and use them whenever you find yourself getting hooked and carried away.
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