..續本文上一頁xpected, you may be heartbroken or extremely pessimistic even to the extent of contemplating suicide. At this juncture, you should apply “following the karma” positively.
You know, in this world, no sailing is always smooth and satisfactory. Behind the success of any endeavor, there are intricate workings of causes and conditions. Sadly, no teachings of this sort are found in college textbooks, but if you”ve studied Abhidharma-kosha-shastra or the Sutra of One Hundred Stories of Karma, you will come to see that your success or failure in this life is attributable not only to the causes of this life, but also those from past lives. Understanding this principle, you will think sanguinely and, by letting things go, you will face all encounters with an easy and open mind. This, then, is to follow the karma positively.
Q. There are people who never stop complaining and are very obstinate in their thinking. How can we make them less attached
A: True, there are such people around, and they are not justified to act this way. Why
Because when a person is complaining, he focuses only on others” faults and neglects self-reflection. When things fail, he complains about others bitterly; when he succeeds, he takes all the credit himself. Such habitual tendencies are quite common in many people; isn”t it dreadful
In fact, we should contemplate the other way around: If things succeed, it is due to the contribution of other people; if things fail, it is my own fault. A famous Tibetan adage goes: “Offer gain and victory to others. Take loss and defeat ourselves.” Such an attitude is most exalted and should be the guiding principle for conducting ourselves in society. It is exactly the lack of practicing this way that unpleasant frictions arise when people work together in daily life. Of course, to practice it is anything but easy; but even so, we must strive for it.
As to wishing that someone would let go of grasping, it can”t be done by talking alone. The person must understand first the reasoning, followed by a certain amount of practice, and only then will he be able “to flex or extend easily.” You see, when one holds onto anything in life tenaciously, one certainly will not give it up. Only when one sees through the futility of grasping by careful observation, then letting go of things will become easy.
Q: I am a senior in the Institute of Educational Science. I stumbled in my love relationships a while ago and still feel very hurt. How can I free myself from this suffering
A: In Tibet, most young folks are less likely to feel tremendous pain when encountering emotional problems, since they have religious faith and comprehend the Buddhist”s view of impermanence. But in the Han area, this does not seem to apply.
Frankly, loving someone is often based on possessiveness. Once the lover turns against you or loves you no more, you feel excruciating pain because your lover is no longer yours. On the other hand, if your love is unconditional—so long as the object of your love is happy, you feel happy—then it is impossible for you to feel hurt or upset, no matter how your relationship evolves. Hence, is the “love” loving oneself, or loving your lover
You need to take a good look.
It is said that sentimental love is a tough checkpoint for young people. However, in 10 or 20 years, you may just laugh it off on reflection. Your current obsession to love is similar to your obsession for toys when you were a child. At that time you wailed like crazy should someone rob you of your toys; now as a grownup looking back at your juvenile ignorance, don”t you feel it quite ridiculous
Therefore, as you mature with age, or as you take up a religion, this kind of emotional clinging will become weaker, and gradually, you will be free from its grip.
Many…
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