言行

　　Words and Conduct

　　疼痛又開始折磨可憐的背了，我忍不住一邊呻吟一邊問身旁的小喇嘛：“怎麼辦呢？背這麼疼。”“您不是告訴我們，生病的時候觀想自他相換，甘心代衆生承受他們的痛苦，就會減少我執，消除痛苦嗎？”

　　There went again the sharp pain torturing my poor back. I couldn”t help groaning and lamenting to the little lama next to me: “What shall I do

　　 It hurts so much!” “But haven”t you told us that in sickness, we should visualize exchanging ourselves with others and take their sufferings upon ourselves

　　 Isn”t this the way to diminish self-attachment and pacify pain

　　”

　　一句話，羞得我無地自容。我時常高坐于講臺上，口中誇誇其談，事不關己地用大道理去訓導別人：要將煩惱病痛轉爲道用！事後卻將這些話抛之腦後，常知繩人，鮮以律己。真可謂“語言的巨人，行動的矮子”。

　　The little lama”s words left me so embarrassed that I could have sunk through the floor. Often I sat on high podiums and prattled on, admonishing others quite irresponsibly about lofty principles: We must transform adversity and illness into spiritual growth! I used these lectures only to bind others but rarely to discipline myself, as I forgot them immediately afterward. Am I not exactly as described: “A giant in words, a dwarf in action”

　　回想最近的行爲，發現自己面對困難時，十分在乎自己的心情、自己的傷痛，頑固的我執常常占了上風。叁界火宅，豈有無苦之理？異生凡夫，四大不調乃尋常之事，我又何必大驚小怪，徒生憂惱？身體不好，正是修行的大好時機啊！我一邊自責，一邊修自他相換，效果似乎還不錯。

　　Examining my recent conduct, I saw that in the face of difficulties, I cared so much about my own mood swings and my own sorrows; the obstinate self-grasping always got the upper hand in me. But don”t I know that the three realms are but a house on fire and how can there be no suffering

　　 As an ordinary being, the imbalance of the four elements is nothing uncommon; why should I make a big deal out of being sick

　　 And why should I become frustrated to no avail

　　 When one gets ill, it is actually the best time to practice the Dharma! Reviewing this reasoning, I scolded myself and worked on exchanging myself with others; the result, I felt, was quite good.

　　平時我常用顯微鏡來觀察別人的過失，卻對自己的錯誤叁緘其口。今天，小喇嘛的話令我有醍醐灌頂之感，使我發現了自己難以察覺的過失。古人雲：“力行之君子，得一善言，終身受用不盡。不務躬行，縱讀盡世間書，于己仍無所益。”我必須將平時之所學、所說，身體力行地應用于日常生活，才不至于成爲在湖邊渴死的傻瓜。

　　I tended to use a microscope to find fault with others while keeping my mouth shut about my own defects. What the little lama said was enlightening, and I came to see my own flaws, which were otherwise difficult to spot. An ancient adage goes: “When put into action, even a single piece of good advice will bring benefit enough for a lifetime. By taking no action, even reading all the books in the world will not benefit a bit.” Therefore, I must walk the walk in my daily life of what I have learned and taught. Otherwise, I”ll be like a fool who dies from thirst in front of water.

　　壬午年六月二十八日　

　　2002年8月6日　

　　28th of June, Year of RenWu

　　August 6, 2002