老尼

　　An Old Nun

　　目光穿過接待室的窗戶，看見在長長隊伍的盡頭，有一位藏族老覺姆，正在虔誠地頂禮。她身穿汙穢不堪的僧裝，脖子上是一堆結滿了汙垢的金剛結、像章，布滿老繭的左手拿著挂滿繩結的念珠，斑白的頭發與灰塵夾雜在一起，讓人找尋不到其本來的顔色。溝壑縱橫的臉如同理不清的網互相糾結著，不知是昨天還是今天早上殘存的糌粑面還附著在嘴唇上，隨著不停念誦的振動而紛紛下落。腳上的襪子已經穿孔，露出長著黑長趾甲的腳趾頭，一雙烏黑的鞋子無力地散在一旁。只有蠕動著的粉紅舌頭與眼中的紅血絲是身上僅存的亮點。

　　Looking out of the reception room window, I saw at the end of a long line an old Tibetan nun who was reverently making prostrations. Her robe was soiled and she had a bundle of grimy vajra cords with insignias on her neck; her callous left hand held a mala tied with numerous tiny knots, and layers of heavy dust masked the original color of her grizzled hair. Her face was covered with bumps and marred by countless wrinkles. At the corner of her mouth some leftover tsampa, either from this morning or last night, came loose as she was murmuring prayers. There were holes in her socks exposing her big toes with long dark toenails, and a pair of black shoes sat stiffly by her side. The only animated parts of her body were the wriggling pink tip of the tongue and the bloodshot veins in her eyes.

　　看見我向她微笑示意，她咧嘴一笑，露出黑黃的牙齒，一瘸一拐地走上前來。

　　Noticing my smile to her, she grinned, revealing dark brown teeth, and limped toward me.

　　她用含混而沙啞的聲音告訴我說：她來自青海班瑪，丈夫早已過世，辛苦撫養成人的四個兒子都對她十分厭棄。走投無路的她來到學院已經叁年，在這個和睦的大家庭裏，不用再看人白眼、受人冷落，在上師的加持下，生活十分快樂。

　　In a hoarse and slurred voice she told me: She was from Baima, Qinghai Province. Her husband had passed away long ago and her four sons, whom she raised with much hardship, ignored her spitefully. Having nowhere to turn to, she came to our academy about three years ago and in this harmonious big family, she no longer has a fear of being ridiculed or deserted; through the blessings of the masters, she is now living a happy life.

　　我問她：你的兒子對你不好，你記恨他們嗎？她平靜地回答說：那都是前世的果報，沒有什麼值得埋怨的。只有祈禱佛菩薩、祈禱上師，忏悔自己的業障。學院有這麼多成就者，就是現在死去，也不用害怕了，我一定會被加持往生極樂刹土的。

　　I asked her: “Your sons have mistreated you; do you bear grudges against them

　　” She replied calmly: “This is all payback for my previous evils, I have nothing to blame. What I can do is to pray to the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and the Teacher, and purify my bad karma. There are so many accomplished masters in the academy, even if I were to die now, I would have no fear, as all the blessings bestowed on me will guide me to the Pure Land of Bliss.”

　　聽了她的回答，我也被她那種毋庸置疑的信心所感染，在她肮髒的外表下面，有著一顆多麼珍貴的如意寶啊！能夠從心底裏以微笑來面對生活，能夠對叁寶、對上師具有如此堅定不移的信心，遠遠勝過了那些冠冕堂皇的口頭見解；勝過了年輕氣盛的爭論答辯；更勝過了世間那些穿著考究的豪門貴族。

　　Her unshakable faith coming straight from her words touched me deeply. Beneath her smudged appearance, what a precious jewel was hiding there! Her resolution to face life with a smile, her unwavering faith toward the master and the Three Jewels surpassed by far the grandeur of theoretical prattles; they refuted eloquently the debates of the young and aggressive. Moreover, she outshined any of the well-dressed rich and powerful personages.

　　剛好別人送給我幾個熱氣騰騰的饅頭，我全部轉送給她。她一邊接過饅頭，一邊忙不疊地說道：“卡卓(謝謝)！卡卓！”

　　By chance someone just offered me a few hot steamed buns, and I immediately passed them to her; she happily received them and hurriedly said: “Khatro (thanks)! Khatro!”

　　看著一邊念著觀音心咒，一邊搖著轉經筒踽踽遠去的背影，我深深地爲她祝福，同時也希望天下所有的老人都能擁有一個真正幸福的晚年。

　　She then took her leave while continuing to chant the mantra of Avalokitesvara and turn the prayer wheel. Gazing at her receding figure, I prayed sincerely for her and wished all elderly people in the world would also live out their twilight years in true happiness.

　　壬午年六月二十日 　

　　2002年7月29日 　　

　　20th of June, Year of RenWu

　　July 29, 2002