..續本文上一頁rying to achieve or attain things, rather than just being humbly content with one breath, then it doesn”t slow down and become calm, and we become frustrated.

　　At first the mind wanders off. Once we are aware that we have wandered off the breath, then we very gently return to it. We use the attitude of being very, very patient and always willing to begin again. Our minds are not used to being held down, they have been taught to associate one thing with another and form opinions about everything. Being accustomed to using our intelligence and ability to think in clever ways, we tend to become very tense and restless when we can”t do that, and when we practise anapanasati we feel resistance, a resentment to it. It is like a wild horse when it is first harnessed, getting angry with the things that bind it.

　　When the mind wanders we get upset and discouraged, negative and averse to the whole thing. If out of frustration, we try to force the mind to be tranquil with sheer will, we can only keep it up for a short while and then the mind is off somewhere else. So the right attitude to anapanasati is being very patient, having all the time in the world, letting go or discarding all worldly, personal or financial problems. During this time there is nothing we have to do except watch our breath.

　　If the mind wanders on the in-breath, then put more effort into the inhalation. If the mind wanders on the exhalation, then put more effort into that. Keep bringing it back. Always be willing to start anew. At the start of each new day, at the beginning of each inhalation, cultivate the beginner”s mind, carrying nothing from the old to the new, leaving no traces, like a big bonfire.

　　One inhalation and the mind wanders, so we bring it back again — and that itself is a moment of mindfulness. We are training the mind like a good mother trains her child. A little child doesn”t know what it is doing, it just wanders off; and if the mother gets angry with it and spanks and beats it, the child becomes terrified and neurotic. A good mother will just leave the child, keeping an eye on it, and if it wanders she will bring it back. Having that kind of patience, we”re not trying to bash away at ourselves, hating ourselves, hating our breath, hating everybody, getting upset because we can”t get tranquil with anapanasati.

　　Sometimes we get too serious about everything, totally lacking in joy and happiness, with no sense of humour, just repressing everything. Gladden the mind, put a smile on your dial! Be relaxed and at ease, without the pressure of having to achieve anything special — nothing to attain, no big deal, nothing special. And what can you say you have done today to earn your board and keep

　　 Just one mindful inhalation

　　 Crazy! But that is more than most people can say of their day.

　　We”re not battling the forces of evil. If you feel averse towards anapanasati, then note that too. Don”t feel it”s something you have to do, but let it be a pleasure, something you really enjoy doing. When you think, “I can”t do it,, then recognize that as resistance, fear or frustration and then relax. Don”t make this practice into a difficult thing, a burdensome task.

　　When I was first ordained I was dead serious, very grim and solemn about myself, like a dried-up old stick, and I used to get in terrible states thinking, “I”ve got to... I”ve got to....” At those times I learned to contemplate peace. Doubts and restlessness, discontent and aversion — soon I was able to reflect on peace, saying the word over and over, hypnotizing myself to relax. The self-doubts would start coming — “I”m getting nowhere with this, it”s useless, I want to get something” — and I was able to be peaceful with that. This is one method that you can use. So when we”re tense, we relax and then we …

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