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　　For example, for many years, I believed what other people told me about happiness.

　　When I was 14 years old, I was studying for my O-level examinations in a high school in London. My parents and teachers advised me to stop playing soccer in the evenings and weekends, but instead to stay at home giving the time to my homework. They explained how important the O-level exams were and that if I did well, then I”d be happy.

　　So I followed their advice and did very well. But it didn”t make me that happy because my success meant that now I must study even harder, for another two years, for the A-level exams. My parents and teachers advised me to stop going out in the evenings and weekends, chasing girls now rather than chasing a football, but instead to stay at home and study. They told me how important the A-level exams were and that if I did well, then I”d be happy.

　　So I followed their advice and, once again, did very well. But once again, it didn”t make me that happy, because now I had to study hardest of all, for three more long years, at a University for a degree. My parent (my father was now dead) and teachers advised me to steer clear of the bars and parties, but instead to work hard. They told me how essential a University degree is for success in life, and that if I did well, then I”d be happy.

　　At this point, I started to become suspicious.

　　I saw some of my older friends who had done well, got their degrees and were working jolly hard. They told me that they were working so hard to save up money to buy something important. When they had enough to buy themselves a car, or a small apartment, then they”d be happy.

　　When they had bought their small car, they still weren”t too happy. They were struggling in the turmoil of romance, looking for their partner in life. When they were married, they said to me, then they”d be happy.

　　Once married they would have to work so hard to buy a bigger apartment, or even a dream house. "When we have saved up enough to put down a deposit, then we”ll be happy", they explained.

　　Then they would have children to wake them up at night, soak up all their spare money and generate a quantum leap in worry. Happiness would once again be put off. As so many told me, "Once the kids are grown up, left home and settled, then we can do what we want". Then they”d be happy.

　　By the time the kids had left home, the parents were staring at retirement. They continued to work hard, investing and saving for their old age. "When I retire", they said, "Then I”ll be happy".

　　Even before they retired, and certainly after, my elderly relatives and friends were all going to church. Have you ever noticed how many old people like going to temples and churches

　　 That is because they all think, "When I die, then I”ll be happy"!

　　That was the sort of happiness they wanted me to believe in: "When you get this or get that, then you”ll be happy". Happiness was always a dream in the future, like a rainbow one or two steps ahead, but forever just out of reach. Something was wrong. No one was really happy now.

　　That is what happens when we simply believe others, rather than seeing the truth for ourselves. If you live your life pursuing possessions, accumulating attachments, even hurrying after heaven - you will discover that you are not living meaningfully.

　　~O~

　　Many modern media gurus propose that a fulfilling relationship is the key to living meaningfully. Too many of us, I think, buy that line without questioning it fully.

　　Why is it that we don”t choose our children, yet we love them forever, and unconditionally

　　 Even if they turn out far less than desired, we still love them. On the other hand, although we carefully choose our husband or wife, checking them out more thoroughly than anything else in our life…

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