..續本文上一頁 it or it was given in the Tipiṭaka. One understood the teaching at the intellectual level, then at the level of experience, and only then accepted it. One did not accept without knowing, without understanding and without experiencing.
The Arya Samaj made me a rational thinker and kept me away from blind beliefs. This, itself, was a great benefit. Vipassana went further. It liberated me from dry intellectual philosophical arguments and the frenzy of sentimental devotion and taught me to experience true spirituality. Accepting whatever truths I actually experienced, I progressed further and experienced subtler truths. I continued to examine whether my mental defilements were becoming weaker or not. The emphasis of the teaching on actual improvement in the present appealed to me. I understood that if the present improved, the future would improve automatically. If this life improves, the next life will improve automatically. It also became clear to me that I was fully responsible for defiling my mind. Why should any external invisible force defile my mind
Similarly, I alone had the responsibility of purifying my mind. The teacher would, with great compassion, show us the path. But I would have to walk on the path step by step. I became free from the delusion that someone else would liberate me.
This technique did not teach me to develop contempt or aversion towards invisible gods and goddesses but taught me to develop mettā for them. The sentiment of "Apni mukti, apne hatha, apna parisrama, apna puruSartha - our liberation is in our own hands; it depends on our own diligence and efforts," did not result in egotism but generated humble awareness of my own responsibility. I liked this self-reliance. I was filled with rapture on recalling these words of a poet: "Svavalanbana ki eka jhalaka para nyauchavara Kubera ka koSa - renounced is the treasury of Kubera (the god of wealth) for one glimpse of self-dependence." My life was transformed. I felt as if I had been born anew.
1954 was the last year of the first Buddha sāsanā of 2500 years. In this year, I came in contact with the Buddha sāsanā for the first time when I was appointed as a member of the food organization committee for providing vegetarian food during the Chattha Sangayana. 1955 was the first year of the second Buddha sāsanā. In this year, I learned Vipassana meditation. It seems that this first year of the second Buddha sāsanā was the sunrise of my good fortune. The final year of the first Buddha sāsanā was the dawn signaling this auspicious sunrise. The fifty years of this Dhamma journey have made my life meaningful, made it successful. I feel blessed.
May the rest of my life be dedicated to Dhamma.
Wayfarer on the path of Dhamma,
S. N. Goenka
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