..續本文上一頁what way it was not-self, and — as far as my understanding allowed — the Buddha”s teaching began to make very clear sense to me. I considered how the body arises, is sustained and passes away, and I came to the conclusion that:

　　(1) it arises from upadana — clinging through mistaken assumptions — which forms the essence of kamma.

　　(2) It is sustained by nourishment provided by our parents; and since our parents have nothing of their own with which to nourish us, they have to search for food — two-footed animals, four-footed animals, animals in the water, and animals on land — either buying this food or else killing it on their own and then feeding it to us. The animals abused in this way are bound to curse and seek revenge against those who kill and eat them, just as we are possessive of our belongings and seek revenge against those who rob us.

　　Those who don”t know the truth of the body take it to be the self, but after considering the diseases we suffer in our eyes, nose, mouth, and throughout the various parts of the body, I concluded that we”ve probably been cursed by the animals we”ve eaten, because all of these parts come from the food we”ve made of their bodies. And so our body, cursed in this way, suffers pain with no recourse for begging mercy. Thus, victim to the spirits of these animals, we suffer pains in the eyes, pains in the ears, pains in the nose and mouth and throughout the body, until in the end we have to relinquish the whole thing so they can eat it all up. Even while we”re still living, some of them — like mosquitoes and sandflies — come and try to take it by force. If we don”t let go of our attachments to the body, we”re bound to suffer for many lives to come. This is one reason why I felt attracted to the Buddha”s teachings on not-self.

　　(3) The body passes away from being denied nourishment. The fact that this happens to us is without a doubt a result of our past actions. We”ve probably been harsh with other living beings, denying them food to the point where they”ve had to part with the bodies they feel such affection for. When the results of such actions bear fruit, our bodies will have to break up and disband in the same way.

　　Considering things in this manner caused me to feel even more attracted to the practical methods recommended by the Buddha for seeing not-self and letting go of our clinging assumptions so that we no longer have to be possessive of the treasures claimed by ignorant and fixated animals. If we persist in holding onto the body as our own, it”s the same as cheating others of their belongings, turning them into our own flesh and blood and then, forgetting where these things came from, latching onto them as our very own. When this happens, we”re like a child who, born in one family and then taken and raised in another family with a different language, is sure to forget his original language and family name. If someone comes along and calls him by his original name, he most likely won”t stand for it, because of his ignorance of his own origins. So it is with the body: Once it has grown, we latch onto it, assuming it to be the self. We forget its origins and so become drugged, addicted to physical and mental phenomena, enduring pain for countless lifetimes.

　　These thoughts are what led me to start practicing the teachings of the Buddha so as to liberate myself from this mass of suffering and stress.

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