..續本文上一頁ay from one side only. We didn”t use discernment the way he did. That was something we”d have to admit. Here I”ve been talking about practicing the Dhamma with Ven. Acariya Mun at Baan Naa Mon.
When we moved to Baan Nong Phue, I vowed again to observe this particular practice. Wherever I”d go, I”d stick to my guns as far as this practice was concerned and wouldn”t retreat. I wouldn”t let it be broken. Coming back from my alms round, I”d quickly put my bowl in order, taking just a little of whatever I”d eat -- because during the rains I”d never eat my fill. I”d never eat my fill at all. I”d tell myself to take only so-and-so much, around 60 to 70 percent. For example, out of 100 percent full, I”d cut back about 30 to 40 percent, which seemed about right, because there were a number of us living together as a group. If I were to go without food altogether, it wouldn”t be convenient, because we always had duties involved with the group. I myself was like one of the senior members of the group, in a behind-the-scenes sort of way, though I never let on. I was involved in looking after the peace and order within the group in the monastery. I didn”t have much seniority -- just over ten rains in the monkhood -- but it seemed that Ven. Acariya Mun was kind enough to trust me -- also behind the scenes -- in helping him look after the monks and novices.
When the rains would begin, all of us in the monastery would vow to observe different ascetic practices, and after not too many days this or that person would fall back. This showed how earnest or lackadaisical the members of the group were, and made me even more meticulous and determined in my duties and my ascetic practices. When I”d see my fellow meditators acting like this, I”d feel disillusioned with them in many ways. My mind would become even more fired up, and I”d encourage myself to be unrelenting. I”d ask myself, ”With events all around you like this, are you going to fall back
” And the confident answer I”d get would be, ”What is there to fall back
Who is this if not me
I”ve always been this sort of person from the very beginning. Whatever I do, I have to take it seriously. Once I decide to do something, I have to be earnest with it. I don”t know how to fool around. I won”t fall back unless I die, which is something beyond my control. I won”t let anyone put food in my bowl under any circumstances.” Listen to that -- ”under any circumstances.” That was how I felt at the time.
So the changes in my fellow meditators were like a sermon for me to listen to and take to heart. I haven”t forgotten it, even to this day. As soon as I returned from my alms round, I”d quickly take whatever I was going to eat, put my bowl in order, and then quickly prepare whatever I had that I”d put in Ven. Acariya Mun”s bowl -- this or that serving that I had noticed seemed to go well with his health, as far as I knew and understood. I”d set aside whatever should be set aside and prepare whatever should go into his bowl. Then I”d return to my seat, my eyes watchful and my ears ready to hear whatever he might say before we”d start eating.
As for my own bowl, when I had put it in order, I”d put it out of the way behind my seat, right against the wall next to a post. I”d put the lid on and cover it with a cloth to make doubly sure that no one would mess with it and put any food in it. At that time I wouldn”t allow anyone to put food in my bowl at all. I made that clear in no uncertain terms. But when Ven. Acariya Mun put food in my bowl, he”d have his way of doing it. After I had prepared the food I would give to him and had returned to my place; after we had given our blessings and during the period of silence when we were contemplating our food -- that”s when he”d do it: right when we were about to e…
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