..續本文上一頁ly trying to get rid of it. Wearing these robes in the West can be really difficult. It”s not like wearing a robe in Thailand! When we first moved to London I felt so out of place. As a lay person I always dressed to not be noticed, but in that situation we were up front all the time. That was dukkha for me; I felt very self-conscious. People were looking at me all the time. Now, if I had had the freedom to maximize sukha and minimize dukkha, I would have put on a pair of jeans, a brown shirt, grown a beard and been one of the mob. But I couldn”t do that because I had renunciation precepts. Renunciation is giving up the tendency to always try to maximize pleasure. I really learned a lot in that situation.

　　We all have responsibilities: family, job, career and so on. And these are kinds of limitations, aren”t they

　　 What do we do with them

　　 Rather than resent these limitations and say: ”Oh if only it were different, I would be happy,” we can consider: ”Now this is a chance to understand.” We say: ”This is the way it is now. There is dukkha.” We actually go towards that dukkha; we make it conscious - bring it into mind. We don”t have to create dukkha especially, there”s already enough suffering in this world. But the encouragement of the teachings is to actually feel the dukkha that we have in life.

　　Maybe on this retreat you find during a sitting that you are bored and restless, and waiting for the bell to ring. Now you can actually notice that. If we didn”t have this form, then we could just walk out. But what happens if I walk out on restlessness

　　 I might think I”ve gotten rid of restlessness, but have I

　　 I go and watch T. V. or read something- I keep that restlessness going. And then I find my mind is not peaceful: it”s filled with activity. Why

　　 Because I”ve followed sukha and tried to get rid of dukkha. That is the constant, painful, restlessness of our lives. It is so unsatisfactory, so unpeaceful - not Nibbana.

　　The First Noble Truth of the Buddhist teaching is not saying, ”Get this experience.” It says look at the experience of dukkha. We are not expected to merely believe in Buddhism as a ”teaching”, but to look at dukkha - without judging. We are not saying I shouldn”t have dukkha. Nor are we just thinking about it. We”re actually feeling it- observing it. We”re bringing it to mind. So, there is dukkha.

　　The teaching then goes on to consider that dukkha has a cause and also that it has an end. A lot of Westerners think that Buddhism is a very negative teaching, because it talks about suffering. When I first had the inspiration to become a Buddhist monk, I was in India. Then my grandfather died so I went back to Germany for the funeral. I tried to talk to my mother about ordination. But when I mentioned suffering, she got quite upset; she took it quite personally. She didn”t understand what I was saying: that this is simply what human beings have to go through.

　　So the Buddha wasn”t just talking about dukkha. He was also talking about the cause of dukkha, the end of dukkha and a path to that end. This teaching is about enlightenment - Nibbana. And that is what this Buddha-image is saying. It”s not an image of the Buddha suffering. It”s of his enlightenment; it”s all about freedom.

　　But to be enlightened we have to take what we”ve got, rather than try to get what we want. In the worldly way we usually try to get what we want. All of us want Nibbana - right

　　 - even though we don”t know what it is. When we”re hungry, we go to the fridge and get something, or we go to the market and get something. Getting, getting, always getting something. ...But if we try to get enlightenment like that, it doesn”t work. If we could get enlightenment the same way as we get money, or get a car, it would be rather easy. But it”s more subt…

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