The Practice of

　　Metta in Insight Meditation

　　by Ajahn Tiradhammo

　　(An edited version of a talk given during a retreat in 1993)

　　The practice of "metta" is one of the meditation exercises which is usually taught as a type of Calm meditation. Meditators bring up thoughts of well-being towards themselves, and then they share this well-being with other beings, eventually including all beings in the universe equally.

　　I have found, however, that it is also very useful as an exercise in Insight meditation. This is partly because our usual way of relating to experience -- especially the unpleasant things -- is to have resistance. If we could change our attitude somehow to be a bit more peaceful, or even friendly, towards so-called negative experiences, this allows us the possibility to come a bit closer to them in order to see them clearly, in order to have clearer insight into their true nature.

　　The Pali word "metta" is frequently translated as "loving-kindness", however, for many people this can be quite idealistic. I thus prefer to translate it generally as "friendliness", although also sometimes as "non-contention, "peacefulness", "openness" or "receptiveness", depending upon how we are able to use it.

　　This practice is especially useful in relating to the so-called unpleasant experiences of life. For most people, as soon as they notice something unpleasant or painful, they want to get away. But that does not really solve the problem ― trying to distract ourselves away never allows us to get to the real source. You have to first recognize: there is some suffering, some discomfort, some pain, and then go to it in order to find its source. Only by removing its source is it really resolved. By distracting ourselves away from it, it may seem like it”s gone away, but because the root is still there, it keeps on growing. It just takes other forms – resisted in this way, it grows up that way.

　　Of course, as you know, for many people this is easier said than done. Who wants to go to the source of their pain

　　 Our usual reaction is to get away from it. But by developing a more friendly, peaceful attitude towards the so-called negative, towards the so-called unpleasant, we can change our usual way of relating. At the very least, we do not increase it, we do not react in the same habitual, resistant way over and over again, but have the possibility of relating to it in a new way. And this, together with a foundation of collectedness and clear awareness, allows us to see it a little bit more clearly for what it really is.

　　Pain is Subjective

　　That is why I say it is only so-called "negative" or so-called "unpleasant". As I mentioned already, what we call "pain" is subjective. Each one of us makes their own definition: there is a sensation, there is a state of mind, one person says: "ouch!", another one says "that”s ok". Not only that, it depends upon our inpidual mood too. If we are feeling very distracted, in an unhappy mood, the slightest little physical irritation can be very painful. Or, if we feel in a more happy or peaceful mood, we can tolerate a lot more discomfort. So where is the real discomfort

　　In the Buddhist teaching what we call pain or what is unpleasant is in the mind. It is a particular aspect of mental phenomena. So simply, if we change our state of mind, we can also change our experience of pain and discomfort.

　　Of course, to some people the practice of friendliness does sound a bit crazy, to be friendly to your pain sounds crazy: "What

　　! That does not make sense, to be friendly to my pain

　　! You should get rid of it, should crush it out, you should conquer it, defeat it, rather than being friendly with it."

　　But then all of this is coming from will power, which is the basis of ego. "I want to crush out my pain, I want…

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