..續本文上一頁dhism doesn”t work. It couldn”t be my fault. It must be the fault of Buddhism.”

　　Fortunately something inside me, some kind of intuition or some degree of faith, gave me a second thought: ”Maybe I”m missing something here.” So I looked in one of the Buddhist books and saw that it said ”sila, samadhi and panna.” Oh yes, panna, what”s that

　　 What”s this element called wisdom

　　 Maybe I”m missing something here. Then I realised, ”I”m going to have to go back and round out my idea of practice.”

　　In those days, my understanding of wisdom was that it was basically knowledge. So wisdom for me meant studying the Buddhist scriptures. This was what I understood the Buddha meant by ”wisdom”. In fact, contemplating the scriptures gave me quite a bit of wisdom in one sense. There are different kinds of wisdom mentioned in the scriptures. There”s suta-maya-panna, which is the wisdom that comes from the discourses, from what we”ve read or heard. That”s the first kind of wisdom, a lower kind of wisdom. The second kind is cinta-maya-panna, which is what we think about and contemplate.

　　The third kind, the highest form of wisdom is bhavana-maya-panna, which is wisdom that comes from meditation and contemplation. Not having much experience of meditation, I thought wisdom was about studying the scriptures. But after studying the scriptures and meditating for a few more years, something seemed to not work any more. Fortunately, I came across the teachings of Ajahn Chah which were by then available in translation in Thailand.

　　Ajahn Chah”s teaching seemed very balanced. Of course, he encouraged concentration, but not overdoing it. From what I understood, he was pointing at the wisdom faculty as coming not from reading the scriptures, but from knowing oneself. For example one person asked him, ”How long should I sit every day

　　” His reply was, ”I don”t know, look at yourself. What do you think you need

　　 What works for you

　　” He would joke that for some people sitting a long time is like a chicken sitting on its nest. Not really useful. You might hatch a few eggs, I suppose. Of course, some people might need to do more sitting, but the point was: look for yourself.

　　When I realised that Ajahn Chah had a real foundation in wisdom, and that he knew how to develop and cultivate it, I went to see him, and ended up staying in his monasteries in Thailand for the next six years. Even though his teachings were very simple, it often took some time before they really ”entered the heart.” In the Thai language the words that mean ”understanding” are ”kow jai,” literally ”enter the heart.” Ajahn Chah”s teachings could enter the brain all right, I could hear what he was saying, but they didn”t really enter the heart. I didn”t really understand them yet.

　　I remember one of his teachings was about maintaining mindfulness and collectedness whatever we”re doing, not only in the meditation hall but also in every activity. I must have heard this a dozen times. On one afternoon however,

　　I was sitting in my little hut in the forest and trying to get quiet and calm. Then at three o”clock the bell rang for water hauling. With the heat, three o”clock is not the most cheerful time of day. But if I was to live in the monastery, I realised that I had to be co-operative. So I came out of my little hut to help with the water-hauling. I was grumbling away, ”This is disturbing my meditation. I could have got good concentration if the bell hadn”t rung.” Then I stopped and thought, ”Hey, Ajahn Chah told us to be collected and mindful whatever we”re doing. Well, since I live in this monastery, maybe I should try it.” So I tried to be collected and mindful when walking to the well, when helping haul the water, when distributing the water around the monastery, when sweeping out the medita…

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