..续本文上一页 that you are vividly alive. The method says to follow your breath, but its meaning is that you are invisibly present and alive, just like a spinning top that goes faster and faster until it disappears. Without method, without expectation, without counting your breath, you are alive moment to moment, alive in this space that is nowhere else but right here within yourself. Others have said that zazen or shikantaza means being present in this very moment, but even that”s not it. It”s being the moment. It”s being each moment after moment after moment—in zazen, before zazen, and after zazen as well. And of course that”s the manifestation or actualization of your original mind. “Just to be ourselves.” This is shikantaza.

　　Every year when I travel to meet with students in Poland, the schedule is very intense. Last year when I was standing beside a window on a hot and crowded train going from Gdansk to Warsaw, just watching the scenery go by, suddenly I became acutely aware that my breath had become naturally deeper than it had been before. After some time I became aware of the sound of my breath and began to follow it. It was very wonderful because I was unaware that more than three hours passed by. I felt only that I was being embraced by the sound”s traveling.

　　You pass a lot of scenery when you”re on a train. In Poland we passed devastated environments, broken-down homes and the families who live in them watching the train while standing or working outside, lots of garbage and litter everywhere (I did see some good graffiti, too!) and also beautiful forests and plains. I was receiving all of this as it passed by, and at the same time I was aware of my breath. Even though I had been standing the entire time, after the train reached its destination I got off and felt completely renewed.

　　When you practice like this, you receive everything you see on the inhalation of the breath. You don”t pretend not to see it. In our contemporary lives we pretend a lot in order to protect ourselves. There”s TV, newspapers with bad news, city noises and so many other things that seem to be assaulting us. But no matter what it is, you can take it in, and because you do receive it, on the exhalation you can let it out. You let it go. This is the shikantaza breath. It can be compared to the alchemy of turning lead into gold. You fill up with your sorrow or anger or any other feeling that you usually try to avoid, and by doing so you acknowledge that it is there. But this is only part of the practice, because the fact that you have done it means that, on the exhale, you release it and let it go. It actually needs this acknowledgment in order to be really released.

　　It”s a little odd, but in general we tend not to be aware of other people”s anger, or even our own anger, despite the fact that our whole meditation practice is about awareness. What you can do, what you can”t do, what you want or don”t want to do, is still about awareness. Our practice is to have the courage to actually feel and accept these aspects of being human. They”re just a small part of us and our practice will help us to make room so that we can receive and feel these things and therefore let them go without attaching to them, just as you receive and release the passing scenery when you”re on a train.

　　I think it”s pretty true to say that we”re all on a train. The scenery is going by quickly and you can”t hold on to anything; you have to stay and keep going down the track. It”s when you hold on to something, or even try to hold on, that you are not on the train anymore. But our way tells us to release what we are holding so that we can keep going and stay on track. What it really comes down to is the wisdom and compassion of non-avoidance. You just keep going, and as you do, you can wor…

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