..续本文上一页they do not desire pleasures of any kind.5
Generally beings that primarily give rise to pleasure (causing attachment) are classes as “friends” and beings that primarily give rise to “displeasure” (causing aversion) are classed as enemies.. The choice of friends is a personal thing, based on personal likes/dislikes, standards, ideas, views, beliefs, etc. It is natural for like beings to be drawn to other like beings and unlike beings to be repulsed from other unlike beings. Some beings become one”s enemy because of a personal weakness they possess, be it fear, insecurity, desire (lobha) and competition for something, aversion (vyapada) or even stupidity and confused thinking (moha) and not because of anything that one has done to them. Especially in such instances, there is nothing to take “personally”.6 One needs to understand this with wisdom (panna) as to why beings act the way they do.
Everyone has friends, enemies and neutral beings. Generally friends mean one well, enemies mean one harm and neutral beings mean one neither harm nor happiness.7 The distinction between friends and enemies can sometimes blur, so it is always important to use wisdom to employ skilful means of preventing anyone, be it a friend, enemy or otherwise, from causing one harm. The Lord Buddha has explained in detail how to determine between friends and enemies in the Sigalovada Sutta. Outwardly appearance/behaviour is not always a good way of judging this. The Lord Buddha advised to avoid companionship with the foolish and to only associate with beings who are the same as one or more advanced along the Path. It is better to live alone if one does not find such a companion despite societal/cultural pressures. People seek friendship and companionship for various reasons, including deriving pleasure, which is widely viewed as “happiness.” Beings may become enemies due to their own personal weaknesses and it may have nothing to do with one”s behaviour towards them.
May you find good friends to help you on the Path and if not the strength to travel the Path in solitude and peace towards the lasting peace of Nibbana!
《Buddhist Approach to Friendship》全文阅读结束。