MY CHOICE WAS BUDDHO MEDITATION. From the moment I made my resolve, I kept my mind from straying from the repetition of buddho. From the moment I awoke in the morning until I slept at night, I forced myself to think only of buddho. At the same time, I ceased to be preoccupied with thoughts of progress and decline: If my meditation made progress, it would do so with buddho; if it declined, it would go down with buddho. In either case, buddho was my sole preoccupation. All other concerns were irrelevant.
我选择修持念“佛陀”。从我发愿那一刻起，我就不让心离开重复持念“佛陀”。从早上醒来的那一刻到晚上睡着，我逼自己只是忆念“佛陀”。同时，我也放弃思考进步或退步：如果我的禅修进步，那它与“佛陀”一起进步；如果它退步，那它与“佛陀”一起退步。不管怎么样，“佛陀”是我唯一专注的对象，其他的一切都毫不相干。
Maintaining such single-minded concentration is not an easy task. I had to literally force my mind to remain entwined with buddho each and every moment without interruption. Regardless of whether I was seated in meditation, walking meditation or simply doing my daily chores, the word buddho resonated deeply within my mind at all times. By nature and temperament, I was always extremely resolute and uncompromising. This tendency worked to my advantage. In the end, I became so earnestly committed to the task that nothing could shake my resolve; no errant thought could separate the mind from buddho.
这样保持一心专注不是件容易的工作，每时每刻我都必须确实强迫自己的心不受干扰地安住在“佛陀”上，不管是在坐禅，经行或者只是做日常的杂务，“佛陀”这念诵一直在我内心深处共鸣。我的禀性和气质是绝对坚定和不妥协的，这种性格给我带来好处，我是那么虔诚地全心全意投入修行，决心不受任何动摇。最后，没有任何妄想可以把心和“佛陀”分开。
Working at this practice day after day, I always made certain that buddho resonated in close harmony with my present-moment awareness. Soon, I began to see the results of calm and concentration arise clearly within the citta, the mind”s essential knowing nature. At that stage, I began to see the very subtle and refined nature of the citta. The longer I internalized buddho, the more subtle the citta became, until eventually the subtlety of buddho and the subtlety of the citta melded into one another and became one and the same essence of knowing. I could not separate buddho from the citta”s subtle nature. Try as I might, I could not make the word buddho appear in my mind. Through diligence and perseverance, buddho had become so closely unified with the citta that buddho itself no longer appeared within my awareness. The mind had become so calm and still, so profoundly subtle, that nothing, not even buddho, resonated there. This meditative state is analogous to the disappearance of the breath, as mentioned above.
我每天这样修行，确保“佛陀”始终与当下的觉知和谐共鸣。很快地，我开始看到宁静与定清楚的从心——意识知道的根本特性——中生起。在这个阶段，我开始看到心非常微细精妙的本质，我越把“佛陀”内在化，心就变得越细微，直到最后“佛陀”的微细与心的微细相互融合为一体，成为能知的核心。我无法把“佛陀”从心的微细本质中分开，不管怎么尝试，我就是无法令“佛陀”这词在心中浮现。由于精进用功，“佛陀”已那么紧密地与心合一，以至“佛陀”本身不再出现在觉知中。心变得那么宁静和定，那么微细，以至没有任何东西，即使是“佛陀”，在此共鸣。这禅修的境界就类似上面提到呼吸消失的境界一样。
When this took place, I felt bewildered. I had predicated my whole practice on holding steadfastly to buddho. Now that buddho was no longer apparent, where would I focus my attention
Up to this point, buddho had been my mainstay. Now it had disappeared. No matter how hard I tried to recover this focus, it was lost. I was in a quandary. All that remained then was the citta”s profoundly subtle knowing nature, a pure and simple awareness, bright and clear. There was nothing concrete within that awareness to latch on to.
这种情况的发生，令我不知怎么办才好。在这之前我以为在整个修行中牢牢地保持着“佛陀”，现在“佛陀”不再出现，我该专注在哪儿？到此为止，“佛陀”一直是我主要的专注对象。现在它消失了，无论我多努力尝试找回这专注点，它还是不见了，我陷入困惑中。剩下的只是心那微细的能知特性，一个纯净自然的知觉，光明清晰，在这觉知中没有任何可系缘的实体。
I realized then that nothing invades the mind”s sphere of awareness when consciousness—its knowing presence—reaches such a profound and subtle condition. I was left with only one choice: With the loss of buddho, I had to focus my attention on the essential sense of awareness and knowing that was all-present and prominent at that moment. That consciousness had not disappea…
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