..续本文上一页, but we tend to see them in very personal ways.

　　We hold views about each other that we carry with us for a lifetime: she is like this, he is like that; and these influence how we react and we respond to each other - just in the way someone looks: pleasing, happy, welcoming; mean and unpleasant; or somebody praises us or insults us. We can carry resentment about being insulted for a lifetime and never forgive that person. Maybe they did it when they were just having a bad time, even after thirty years, we can still make a problem about it if we want. So this self needs to be examined and looked at and contemplated, in religious terms.

　　Every religion has its self-naughting teachings: in some ways religion is about relinquishing the selfish tendencies of the mind, so before we can, say, realise the Kingdom of God we have to let go of our selfish fascinations and obsessions. Or, if we are going to realise the true Dhamma, we need to let go of the self view. So this can be another command from above, like "You shouldn”t be selfish! Get rid of any selfishness and try to become somebody who is pure!" We would all agree with that, nobody here would relish the idea of becoming more and more selfish, but sometimes we don”t know how not to be selfish. We may have grand ideas that we should give up all our wealth, not hold on to anything; then we”re getting closer to not being selfish - but the strange thing is that when you become a monk or a nun, sometimes, although you are thinking you are getting rid of selfishness, you find yourself getting more and more selfish. Your selfishness becomes very concentrated, because you can”t spread yourself over such a wide area as in lay life. So you become much more aware of it. And if you condemn it, then it seems to be a hopeless situation, because you begin to interpret life from that sense of "I”m selfish and I”ve got to get rid of this selfishness." And one of the biggest problems in our way of thinking is to relinquish that basic premise that "I am this person and I have got to do something, in order to become an unselfish, enlightened person in the future."

　　We are conditioned to think this way in our culture: be a good boy and therefore you do this and you do that and in the future you will become somebody who will be worthy and acceptable in society. This makes sense on the worldly side of life, because we start out illiterate, so we have to learn, and from then on we have to study all the different subjects in a school in order to become someone who can get through the system. If we fail then we become someone who fails. And failure is despised. It is interesting in teaching meditation to people who have this fear of failure, they fear that they are going to fail in meditation. But there is no way you could fail in meditation. It is not about failure, otherwise even meditation becomes just another way for us to prove ourselves. "I can”t do it now. If I practise hard, I will become a good meditator and I will become enlightened, hopefully..." And then the doubt comes: "But I don”t think I could ever get enlightened. Who is enlightened

　　"

　　People like to check us all out to see if Ajahn Sumedho is enlightened or whether Ajahn Viradhammo is, or whether we have reached some kind of advanced level. Or are we just blokes who haven”t quite made it

　　 But there is a different way of looking and thinking which is the opposite of seeing ourselves in terms of being somebody who has to do something to become somebody who is better than he or she is right now. That is the worldly way of thinking. That”s what people like to hear isn”t it: "I had all kinds of problems and was a very miserable, unhappy man and then practising meditation I saw the light and now I”m happy and fulfilled." From the worldly condit…

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