..续本文上一页orrier! When we first came to England everything was very uncertain: how would we survive as Buddhist monks in a non-Buddhist country

　　 Would we be beaten up and attacked by people, would anyone give us alms-food, or what would happen

　　 But in actuality my life here in this country has been a good one. I began to see that even when everything is going right, once you are caught in this habit of worry, you still worry. It became obvious that people were interested in the Dhamma and they were going to feed us and we were going to survive and monasteries were going to be supported; but then when there wasn”t anything to worry about, one could find something else! And being in a responsible position - like the abbot of a monastery, you get into positions where you can”t just hide behind someone else. In Thailand I could hide behind Ajahn Chah”s robes, and because I wasn”t a native Thai I could get out of a lot of things, so that there were certain advantages. But being here I always felt that I was the focal point, and so there were tendencies towards doubt and anxiety.

　　In reflective meditation you go out to the feeling of worry. I would begin to open to that very feeling of worry or doubt, uncertainty, rather than try to suppress it through affirmation. but I found that the way out of worry was not by suppressing it but by totally accepting the feeling of it. The insight that came from that was that in the sensory realm there is an awful lot to worry about. It wasn”t just a neurotic hang-up! In this realm of pleasure and pain and personality and success and failure, there is a lot to worry about. You could trip and break your leg, you could have a heart attack, you could be beaten up or there could be a nuclear holocaust, there could be an IRA explosion and all kinds of things. Then because you have a memory you can hold on to things of the past: "This happened to me five years ago and what if it happens again

　　"

　　A country like Britain has developed to try to give us a sense of security - you have a stable government, you have welfare, medical services, education, all these things laid in for us -and still we worry! So I”ve realized, that that sense of insecurity and uncertainty is just the way life is.

　　But if you go to the actual feeling of insecurity, you find it peaceful. It”s a kind of paradox: when you are reacting to that feeling, you get worried and frightened by it; but as you open to that uncertain, insecure feeling that you have and the violent reaction to it, and bear with it - you will find its peacefulness. You will find a sense of peace with yourself. Worry, if skilfully used, takes us to serenity of mind; because when you”re with that very feeling of insecurity, your thinking, mind - with its "what if this happens, what if that happens

　　 - will stop operating. Then you will begin to recognize emptiness of mind, which is a state of mind which is very receptive to the way things are. Then you have perspective. You begin to have real faith that you will be able to cope with the problems of life that you experience.

　　For example, I realize the potential at any moment for having a heart attack, or being beaten up, or the ozone hole growing bigger, or all the whales disappearing in the ocean, or being taken over by the Communists, or whatever.... But what I know now is that I trust that whatever happens I will respond to it appropriately, because these things are not the important issue any more. One is in tune with something transcendent, rather than thinking, "Well if I don”t have this I”ll just die, and if this happens I won”t be able to stand it". I realize that whatever happens I”ll stand it!

　　Q: What advice would you give to somebody who has suffered a sudden calamity

　　A: To really accept he way it is; that is, …

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