..续本文上一页uddho!" Why waste your time
You”ll only confuse her, let her go peacefully.
People don”t know how to solve problems within their own hearts, they don”t have a refuge. They get angry easily and have a lot of desires. Why is this
Because they have no refuge.
When people are newly married they can get on together all right, but after age fifty or so they can”t understand each other. Whatever the wife says the husband finds intolerable. Whatever the husband says the wife won”t listen. They turn their backs on each other.
Now I”m just talking because I”ve never had a family before. Why haven”t I had a family
Just looking at this word "household" [1] I knew what it was all about. What is a "household"
This is a "hold": If somebody were to get some rope and tie us up while we were sitting here, what would that be like
That”s called "being held." Whatever that”s like, "being held" is like that. There is a circle of confinement. The man lives within his circle of confinement, and the woman lives within her circle of confinement.
When I read this word "household" ... this is a heavy one. This word is no trifling matter, it”s a real killer. The word "hold" is a symbol of suffering. You can”t go anywhere, you”ve got to stay within your circle of confinement.
Now we come to the word "house." This means "that which hassles." Have you ever toasted chilies
The whole house chokes and sneezes. This word "household" spells confusion, it”s not worth the trouble. Because of this word I was able to ordain and not disrobe. "Household" is frightening. You”re stuck and can”t go anywhere. Problems with the children, with money and all the rest. But where can you go
You”re tied down. There are sons and daughters, arguments in profusion until your dying day, and there”s nowhere else to go to no matter how much suffering it is. The tears pour out and they keep pouring. The tears will never be finished with his "household," you know. If there”s no household you might be able to finish with the tears but not otherwise.
Consider this matter. If you haven”t come across it yet you may later on. Some people have experienced it already to a certain extent. Some are already at the end of their tether..."Will I stay or will I go
" At Wat Ba Pong there are about seventy or eighty huts (kuti). when they”re almost full I tell the monk in charge to keep a few empty, just in case somebody has an argument with their spouse...Sure enough, in no long time a lady will arrive with her bags..."I”m fed up with the world, Luang Por." "Whoa! Don”t say that. Those words are really heavy." Then the husband comes and says he”s fed up too. After two or three days in the monastery their world-weariness disappears.
They say they”re fed up but they”re just fooling themselves. When they go off to a kuti and sit in the quiet by themselves, after a while the thoughts come..."When”s the wife going to come and ask me to go home
" They don”t really know what”s going on. What is this "world-weariness" of theirs
They get upset over something and come running to the monastery. At home everything looked wrong...the husband was wrong, the wife was wrong...after three days” quiet thinking..."Hmmm, the wife was right after all, it was I who was wrong." "Hubby was right, I shouldn”t have got so upset." They change sides. This is how it is, that”s why I don”t take the world too seriously. I know its ins and outs already, that”s why I”ve chosen to live as a monk.
I would like to present today”s talk to all of you for homework. Whether you”re in the fields or working in the city, take these words and consider them... "Why was I born
What can I take with me
" Ask yourselves over and over. If you ask yourself these questions often you”ll become wise. If you don”t reflect on these things you will remain ignorant. Listening to today”s talk, you may get some understanding, if not now, then maybe when you get home. Perhaps this evening. When you”re listening to the talk everything is subdued, but maybe things are waiting for you in the car. When you get in the car it may get in with you. When you get home it may all become clear..."Oh, that”s what Luang Por meant. I couldn”t see it before."
I think that”s enough for today. If I talk too long this old body gets tired.
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Notes:
[1] There is a play on words in the Thai language here based on the word for family -- Krorp krua -- which literally means "kitchen-frame" or "roasting circle." In the English translation we have opted for a corresponding English word rather than attempt a literal translation of the Thai.
《Why Are We Here
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