..续本文上一页termined to make the mind unify in samadhi, it went out of control. ”What”s going on here,” I wondered. ”Why is this happening

　　”

　　Later on I began to realize that meditation was comparable to the process of breathing. If we”re determined to force the breath to be shallow, deep or just right, it”s very difficult to do. However, if we go for a stroll and we”re not even aware of when we”re breathing in or out, it”s extremely relaxing. So I reflected, ”Aha! Maybe that”s the way it works”. When a person is normally walking around in the course of the day, not focusing attention on their breath, does their breathing cause them suffering

　　 No, they just feel relaxed. But when I”d sit down and vow with determination that I was going to make my mind peaceful, clinging and attachment set in. When I tried to control the breath to be shallow or deep, it just brought on more stress than I had before. Why

　　 Because the willpower I was using was tainted with clinging and attachment. I didn”t know what was going on. All that frustration and hardship was coming up because I was bringing craving into the meditation.

　　UNSHAKEABLE PEACE

　　I once stayed in a forest monastery that was half a mile from a village. One night the villagers were celebrating with a loud party as I was walking meditation. It must have been after 11:00 pm and I was feeling a bit peculiar. I”d been feeling strange like this since midday. My mind was quiet. There were hardly any thoughts. I felt very relaxed and at ease. I did walking meditation until I was tired and then went to sit in my grass-roofed hut. As I sat down I barely had time to cross my legs before, amazingly, my mind just wanted to delve into a profound state of peace. It happened all by itself. As soon as I sat down, the mind became truly peaceful. It was rock solid. It wasn”t as if I couldn”t hear the noise of the villagers singing and dancing - I still could - but I could also shut the sound out entirely.

　　Strange. When I didn”t pay attention to the sound, it was perfectly quiet: I didn”t hear a thing. But if I wanted to hear, I could, without it being a disturbance. It was like there were two objects in my mind that were placed side by side but not touching. I could see that the mind and it”s object of awareness were separate and distinct, just like this spittoon and water kettle here. Then I understood: when the mind unifies in samadhi, if you direct your attention outward you can hear, but if you let it dwell in its emptiness then it”s perfectly silent. When sound was perceived, I could see that the knowing and the sound were distinctly different. I contemplated: ”If this isn”t the way it is, how else could it be

　　” That”s the way it was. These two things were totally separate. I continued on investigating like this until my understanding deepened even further: ”Ah, this is important. When the perceived continuity of phenomena is cut, the result is peace.” The previous illusion of continuity (santati) transformed into peace of mind (santi). So I continued to sit, putting effort into the meditation. The mind at that time was focused solely on the meditation, indifferent to everything else. Had I stopped meditating at this point it would have been merely because it was complete. I could have taken it easy, but it wouldn”t have been because of laziness, tiredness, or feeling annoyed. Not at all. These were absent from the heart. There was only perfect inner balance and equipoise - just right.

　　Eventually I did take a break, but it was only the posture of sitting that changed. My heart remained constant, unwavering. and unflagging. I pulled a pillow over, intending to take a rest. As I reclined, the mind remained just as peaceful as it had been before. Then, just before my head hit the pillow, the mind”s awareness b…

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