..续本文上一页of the invitation. When they had gone, the Maha said,

　　"Luang Por, why didn”t you answer those women

　　"

　　He said, "Oh, Maha, don”t you know this rule

　　 Those people who were here just now were all women. If women invite you to travel with them you should not consent. If they make the arrangements themselves that”s fine. If I want to go I can, because I didn”t take part in making the arrangements."

　　"The Maha sat and thought, "Oh, I”ve really made a fool of myself."

　　The Vinaya states that to make an arrangement, and then travel together with, women, even though it isn”t as a couple, is a pacittiya offense.

　　Take another case. Lay people would bring money to offer Venerable Ajahn Pow on a tray. He would extend his receiving cloth, [11] holding it at one end. But when they brought the tray forward to lay it on the cloth he would retract his hand from the cloth. Then he would simply abandon the money where it lay. He knew it was there, but he would take no interest in it, just get up and walk away, because in the Vinaya it is said that if one doesn”t consent to the money it isn”t necessary to forbid laypeople from offering it. If he had desire for it, he would have to say, "Householder, this is not allowable for a monk". He would have to tell them. If you have desire for it, you must forbid them from offering that which is unallowable. However, if you really have no desire for it, it isn”t necessary. You just leave it there and go.

　　Although the Ajahn and his disciples lived together for many years, still some of his disciples didn”t understand Ajahn Pow”s practice. This is a poor state of affairs. As for myself, I looked into and contemplated many of Venerable Ajahn Pow”s subtler points of practice.

　　The Vinaya can even cause some people to disrobe. When they study it all the doubts come up. It goes right back into the past... "my ordination, was it proper

　　 [12] Was my preceptor pure

　　 None of the monks who sat in on my ordination knew anything about the Vinaya, were they sitting at the proper distance

　　 Was the chanting correct

　　" The doubts come rolling on... "The hall I ordained in, was it proper

　　 It was so small... " They doubt everything and fall into hell.

　　So until you know how to ground your mind it”s really difficult. You have to be very cool, you can”t just jump into things. But to be so cool that you don”t bother to look into things is wrong also. I was so confused I almost disrobed because I saw so many faults within my own practice and that of some of my teachers. I was on fire and couldn”t sleep because of those doubts.

　　The more I doubted, the more I meditated, the more I practiced. Wherever doubt arose I practiced right at that point. Wisdom arose. Things began to change. It”s hard to describe the change that took place. The mind changed until there was no more doubt. I don”t know how it changed, if I were to tell someone they probably wouldn”t understand.

　　So I reflected on the teaching Paccattam veditabbo vinnuhi -- the wise must know for themselves. It must be a knowing that arises through direct experience. Studying the Dhamma-vinaya is certainly correct but if it”s just the study it”s still lacking. If you really get down to the practice you begin to doubt everything. Before I started to practice I wasn”t interested in the minor offenses, but when I started practicing, even the dukkata offenses became as important as the parajika offenses. Before, the dukkata offenses seemed like nothing, just a trifle. That”s how I saw them. In the evening you could confess them and they would be done with. Then you could transgress them again. This sort of confession is impure, because you don”t stop, you don”t decide to change. Ther…

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