..续本文上一页 it”d be all burned out, but there”s still a lot left!"

　　Eventually, they give up even before the incense has burned out. Later they sit and think, "I”m really a sad case." They don”t know who to get mad at, so they get mad at themselves. "I”m not true to my word." They curse themselves.

　　"There”s no hope for me. I”m making a lot of bad kamma. I”m a denizen of hell." All kinds of things.

　　"Why should I stay on as a monk if I can”t even do this

　　 All my bad kamma is going to eat up my head." They”ve given themselves a reason to jump ship.

　　"Wouldn”t it be better to live as a layperson and observe the five precepts

　　" They think to themselves and don”t tell anyone else. The more they think, the more convinced they are.

　　Why should we set goals for ourselves like that

　　 The Buddha taught that when we meditate, we should have a sense of ourselves. Like merchants when they put merchandise into their carts: They have a sense of what they”re doing — how many oxen they have, how big and strong the oxen are, how big their carts are. They know that sort of thing: how many sacks of rice they can put in each cart. They know how much to put in, in line with the strength of their oxen and the strength of their carts.

　　When you practice, it has to be in line with your own strength. Here you have a single cart and your ox is the size of your fist, and yet you want the cart to carry as much as a ten-wheeled truck. You see ten-wheeled trucks passing you on the road and you want to be like them. But you”re not a ten-wheeled truck. You”re just a cart. It”s sure to break down. You”re what”s called a fruit that”s ripe even before it”s half-ripe, food that”s burned even before it”s cooked.

　　So in the end those earnest meditators end up disrobing. After they”ve disrobed, they start thinking again. "You know, back when I was ordained things were going a lot better than they are now. Maybe I should ordain again. That path was a lot brighter. It wasn”t as dark as this." After they think about it for a while, they ordain again. Make a fresh start. At first they look like they”re going to do well, like a new boxer who doesn”t yet need water. Their strength is good, they”re diligent, they make good progress. But then they gradually grow weaker, weaker.

　　"It looks like I”m going to fail again. This is my second time around and still it looks like I won”t make it. If I stay in the robes, I”m going to break down even more. I”d better disrobe. I”m not going to get anywhere. Some of the Buddha”s disciples ordained and disrobed up to seven times." They”re now taking those who ordained and disrobed seven times as their model. Don”t take their bad example as your model.

　　"They had to wait until their seventh time before they gained awakening. Maybe if I give it my all seven times I”ll gain awakening like them." They keep on talking nonsense.

　　There”s nothing in the Dhamma taught by the Buddha that lies beyond human capabilities. Don”t go focusing on things you can”t see: heaven or nibbana up there in the sky. All the Dhammas we need to know and see, the Buddha explained in full. As for things you can”t see, don”t pay them any mind. Don”t pay them any attention. Look instead at the present. How are you leading your life

　　 If suffering arises, why is there suffering

　　 What”s going on

　　 How can you settle the problem right there

　　 What are you stuck on

　　 It”s attachment and fixation. You grasp at the idea that you”re better than other people, or equal to other people, or worse than other people. All kinds of things. When you live with other people, you get disgusted with them. "This person is acting badly. That person is acting badly." You go off to live by yourself and don”t know who to get disgusted with, so you end up disgusted with yourself.

　　Just like you said.

《In the Shape of a Circle》全文阅读结束。