..续本文上一页et completely burnt I will not rise from my sitting, even if I collapse or die, no matter what... I”ll die sitting" Having made their vow they start their sitting. As soon as they start to sit Mara”s [29] hordes come rushing at them from all sides. They”ve only sat for an instant and already they think the incense must be finished. They open their eyes for a peek..."Oh, There”s still ages left!"

　　They grit their teeth and sit some more, feeling hot, flustered, agitated and confused... Reaching the breaking point they think, "it must be finished by now."... Have another peek..."Oh, no! It”s not even half-way yet!"

　　Two or three times and it”s still not finished, so they just give up, pack it in and sit there hating themselves. "I”m so stupid, I”m so hopeless!" They sit and hate themselves, feeling like a hopeless case. This just gives rise to frustration and hindrances. This is called the hindrance of ill-will. They can”t blame others so they blame themselves. And why is this

　　 It”s all because of wanting.

　　Actually it isn”t necessary to go through all that. To concentrate means to concentrate with detachment, not to concentrate yourself into knots.

　　But maybe we read the scriptures, about the life of the Buddha, how he sat under the Bodhi tree and determined to himself,

　　"As long as I have still not attained Supreme Enlightenment I will not rise from this place, even if my blood dries up."

　　Reading this in the books you may think of trying it yourself. You”ll do it like the Buddha. But you haven”t considered that your car is only a small one. The Buddha”s car was a really big one, he could take it all in one go. With only your tiny, little car, how can you possibly take it all at once

　　 It”s a different story altogether.

　　Why do we think like that

　　 Because we”re too extreme. Sometimes we go too low, sometimes we go too high. The point of balance is so hard to find.

　　Now I”m only speaking from experience. In the past my practice was like this. Practicing in order to get beyond wanting... if we don”t want, can we practice

　　 I was stuck here. But to practice with wanting is suffering. I didn”t know what to do, I was baffled. Then I realized that the practice which is steady is the important thing. One must practice consistently. They call this the practice that is "consistent in all postures." Keep refining the practice, don”t let it become a disaster. Practice is one thing, disaster is another.[30] Most people usually create disaster. When they feel lazy they don”t bother to practice, they only practice when they feel energetic. This is how I tended to be.

　　All of you ask yourselves now, is this right

　　 To practice when you feel like it, not when you don”t: is that in accordance with the Dhamma

　　 Is it straight

　　 Is it in line with the Teaching

　　 This is what makes practice inconsistent.

　　Whether you feel like it or not you should practice just the same: this is how the Buddha taught. Most people wait till they”re in the mood before practicing, when they don”t feel like it they don”t bother. This is as far as they go. This is called "disaster," it”s not practice. In the true practice, whether you are happy or depressed you practice; whether it”s easy or difficult you practice; whether it”s hot or cold you practice. It”s straight like this. In the real practice, whether standing, walking, sitting or reclining you must have the intention to continue the practice steadily, making your sati consistent in all postures.

　　At first thought it seems as if you should stand for as long as you walk, walk for as long as you sit, sit for as long as you lie down... I”ve tried it but I couldn”t do it. If a meditator were to make his standing, walking, sitting and lying down all equal, how many days could he keep it up for

　　 Stand for five minute…

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