Farewell Brother Radhe Shyam

　　- by S. N. Goenka

　　(The following is a translation of an article by Goenkaji published in the March 2007 issue of the Hindi Vipaśyanā Pātrikā. It has been adapted for the Newsletter.)

　　My father had great respect for his elder brothers. His elder brother and my uncle, Shri Dwarkadas, was advancing in age and his health was also deteriorating. He had eight daughters but no son. My father was worried about him. He had already given his eldest son, Bal Krishna, for adoption to his other elder brother who was childless. So my father decided to give me for adoption to Shri Dwarkadas.

　　This was in the year 1937 when I was thirteen years old. It is easy to separate an infant from its mother and father. But, at thirteen years of age, even the thought of separation from my parents was unbearable. My elder brother, Babulal, was about two years older than me but we were always together like twins.

　　My mother and I were deeply attached to each other. Even at that young age, I was afflicted by excrutiating attacks of migraine, once or twice a year. During such attacks, my mother would lay my head in her lap and massage it with fresh butter or almond oil. Within a short time, because of my mother”s loving touch, a tingling sensation would start in my head which would soon spread through the entire body and all the pain would disappear. This was a foretaste of the experience of Vipassana. Then I would fall asleep with my head in her lap. Even a discussion about separation from my loving mother was unbearable for me.

　　My uncle was much older than my father. He taught my father the skills of the trade and personally resolved all his business difficulties. He gave my father easy chores to keep him satisfied and did all the difficult jobs such as touring the northern towns in Myanmar to sell clothes.

　　One day, my father explained my responsibility to ease his elder brother”s burden. “My brother needs a son to help him. He will be happy to have you as his son. Since we all live together in the same house, you will not be living far away from us even after he adopts you as his son.”

　　Seeing my father”s boundless devotion and gratitude towards his elder brother, I could not oppose his wishes and accepted his decision. My uncle and aunt were very noble. I never ever heard my aunt raise her voice throughout her life.

　　About a year or so after my adoption, my aunt and adoptive mother gave birth to Radhe Shyam. I was filled with joy. At the same time, I felt a strong urge to return to my biological parents. I went to my father and requested him to allow me to return. I was not unhappy in my adoptive home but I found it very difficult to stay away from my mother.

　　This time, my father was a little harsh. He said, “You know very well that my brother is very ill and may pass away soon. (As a matter of fact, he passed away after a year.) It is now your responsibility to look after his family and you should not shirk this responsibility. I have made this decision after considerable thought. It is your duty to fulfil it.”

　　I had been deeply influenced by Ramcarita Manas since childhood. I was inspired by Lord Ram”s filial devotion even after being exiled. It is not easy to renounce the throne and live in the forest. But Lord Rama accepted his father”s decision willingly.

　　Rājīvalocana rāma cale,

　　taji bāpa ko rāja baṭāū kī nāhī.

　　The lotus-eyed Rama goes,

　　leaving behind his father”s kingdom like a (unattached) pilgrim (who leaves one place for another without any attachment).

　　I would sing this verse and be overcome by emotion. Similarly, my father has ordered me to serve his elder brother”s family. I would respect it and consider it my good fortune to fulfil his wishes. After this, I never again harboured the thought o…

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