..续本文上一页usion of the world; I really longed to lock myself in a tomb where my senses would not be stimulated, where no demands would be made on me, where I would be left alone, incognito, invisible. But after that I contemplated my attitude; I contemplated my greed for peace. And I did not seek tranquillity any more.

　　 I never did return to that island. The foot healed fairly well and I had a chance to go to India. Then, after that I went back to Wat Pah Pong, and by that time I had decided not to make preferences. My practice would be ”the way of no preferences”; I would just take things as they came. On my return to Wat Pah Pong I was put in the responsible position of being a translator for Ajahn Chah. I detested having to translate for Westerners, but there I was. I had to do it, and I also had to teach and train monks. A year or so after that they even sent me off to start my own monastery! Within two years there were about twenty Western monks living with me. Then I was invited to England.

　　 And so I have never escaped to that cave because I no longer made preferences. The responsibilities and teaching seem to be increasing, but it is part of the practice of ”no preferences”. And I find, through this practice, my mind is calm and peaceful. I no longer resent the demands made on me, or dwell in aversion or confusion about the never-ending problems and misunderstandings that arise in human society. So the practice is-just mindfulness. No longer do I long for tranquillity. Tranquillity comes and I see it as impermanent. Confusion comes-impermanent; peacefulness-impermanent; war-impermanent. I just keep seeing the impermanent nature of all conditions and I have never felt more at peace with the world than I do now, living in Britain-much more so than I ever did when I was, say, those few days on that island. At that time I was clinging desperately to ideals of what I wanted and there was the accompanying fear of having them taken away-I was afraid that Westerners would come and bother me and that my peaceful environment would be interfered with. There was a real selfishness involved in that rejection and shutting out of others, and a real fear that others might ruin it for me. So this attachment to peace and conditions inevitably brings fear and worry along with it, because all conditions can easily be taken away or destroyed. The kind of peace that we can get from ”no preferences”, however, can never be taken away. It can never be taken away because we can adapt; we are not dependent upon the environment for tranquillity; we have no need to seek tranquillity, or long for it, or resent confusion. So, when we reflect on the Buddha”s teaching (seeing suffering, its origin, its cessation and the path to its cessation), we can see that he was teaching the path of ”no preferences.

　　 The Buddha was enlightened. He spent six years as an ascetic, doing tranquillising practices, attaining the highest states of absorption, and he said: ”No! This isn”t it! This is still suffering. This is still delusion.” And, from that realisation he found the Middle Way, the path of ” no preferences”, the path of awareness.

　　 We should not expect high degrees of tranquillity if we are living in an environment where people are confused or not tranquil, or where we have a lot of responsibilities and duties. We should not think: ”Oh! I want to be somewhere else; I don”t want to be here.” Then we are making a preference. We should observe the kind of life that we have, whether we like it or not-it is changing, anyway; it does not matter.

　　 In life ”like” tends to change into ”dislike”; ”dislike” tends to change into ”like”. Even pleasant conditions change into unpleasant ones, and unpleasant conditions eventually become pleasant. We should just keep this awareness of impermanence and be at peace with the way things are, not demanding that they be otherwise. The people we live with, the places we live in, the society we are a part of-we should just be at peace with everything. But most of all we should be at peace with ourselves-that is the big lesson to learn in life. It is really hard to be at peace with oneself. I find that most people have a lot of self-aversion. It is much better to be at peace with our own bodies and minds than anything else, and not demand that they be perfect, that we be perfect, or that everything be good. We can be at peace with the good and the bad.

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