..续本文上一页tta, a meditation which most people will find very useful. Metta is generally translated as ”loving-kindness”. This may be too big a word, because we tend to think of ”loving, kindness” as grand and wonderful, and sometimes we cannot generate that kind of love for everything.
The English word ”love” is often misused. We say ”I love to eat fish and chips,” when what we mean is ”I like to eat fish and chips.” The Christians talk about ”Christian love”: this means the love of your enemies, it does not mean liking them. How can you like your enemies
We can, however, love them – which means that we will not do anything to harm them. We will not dwell in aversion towards them. You can be kind to your enemies, kind towards people who are not very nice to you, who insult you and wish you harm. They may be unpleasant people whom you cannot like, but can love. Metta is not a superman”s love – it is the very ordinary ability to just be kind and not dwell in aversion towards something or someone.
Right now, if a man walked into this room – drunk, ugly, diseased, stinking, cursing and swearing, with warts all over his face – we could not even consider liking him ... but we can be kind. We would not have to punch him in the nose, curse him and force him out of the room. We could invite him in and give him a cup of tea. We can be kind, we can do something for someone who is repulsive and disgusting in some way. When we think to ourselves, ”I can”t stand that man, get him out of here, he is disgusting,” it becomes impossible to be kind, and we are creating suffering around what is unpleasant to us.
There is a great lack of metta in the world today, because we have over-developed our critical faculties: we constantly analyse and criticise. We dwell on what is wrong with ourselves, with others, with the society we live in. Metta, however, means not dwelling in aversion, being kind and patient, even towards that which is bad, evil, foul or terrible. It is easy to be kind towards nice animals like little kittens and puppies. It is easy, to be kind towards people we like, towards sweet little children, especially when they are not ours. It is easy to be kind to old ladies and old men when we do not have to live with them. It is easy to be kind to that which agrees with us politically and philosophically and which does not threaten us in any way. It is much more difficult to be kind to that which we don”t like, which threatens us or which disgusts us. That takes much more endurance.
First we have to start with ourselves. So, in traditional Buddhist style, we always start the practice of metta by having metta for ourselves. This does not mean we say, ”I really love myself, I really like me.” When we practise metta towards ourselves, we do not dwell in aversion on ourselves any more. We extend kindness towards ourselves, towards conditions of body and mind. We extend kindness and patience even towards faults and failings, towards bad thoughts, moods, anger, greed, fears, doubts, jealousies, delusions – all that we may not like about ourselves.
When I first went to England, I asked the Buddhist people there whether they did the practice of metta. They said, ”No, can”t stand it; it”s so false. We”re supposed to go around saying, "I like myself, I love myself, may I be happy." It”s so soppy, wet, foolish – I don”t really feel it. It seems so false and superficial.” On that level, it sounded a bit silly to me too, until I realised that it wasn”t taught in the right way and had become sentimental, a cosmetic covering up of things. The people of England could not go along with it; they would rather sit and analyse themselves, look at their faults and exaggerate them out of all proportion. They thought they were being honest with themselves.
When we prac…
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