..续本文上一页f it”s already here now, then you don”t have to go around looking for it. There are all these nice stories about religious pilgrims, religious seekers, going off to the Himalayas ... looking for some saint living in a cave or looking for some mystic, some hermit, some arahant, who lives off in some remote valley or mountain crag, who knows the truth. We must find that person because he is our teacher and he is going to give us that truth. We have romantic visions of ourselves suddenly meeting our teacher: we climb up some remote Himalayan mountain crag, breathing hard, the air getting thinner – and he”s standing there with eyes bright, radiant with love, saying, ”At last you”ve come!” We can, on that fictional level, create interesting visions and fairy-tales about religious seeking; but the journey is an inward one. So how do we go inward, journey inside ourselves

　　We start looking for something, the ultimate reality, as something we”re going to find by looking within. So we think: ”Meditation is the way. I don”t need to go to India. That”s foolish rubbish; I don”t need to go to the Himalayan mountains. I can just meditate and find the truth within myself.” And that”s a very good idea – but what is the truth, and what are you looking for

　　Is the truth ”something”

　　Does it have a quality that we should be able to recognise

　　Now, the religious journey is what we call ”inclining to Nibbana”: turning away, inclining away from the sensory world to the Unconditioned. So it”s a very subtle kind of journey. It”s not something you can do just as an act of will; you can”t just say, ”I”m going to realise the truth,” and do it. ”I”m going to get rid of all my defilements, hindrances ... get rid of lust, hatred, all my weaknesses – and I”m going to get there!”

　　People who do that usually go crazy. One man I met years ago who had been a bhikkhu was in a mental hospital. This man had been a ”maha”, meaning he had taken all the Pali examinations. He went off to a mountain top, went into his little hut, and said, ”I”m not coming out until I”m perfectly enlightened” – and came out stark raving mad! So if it”s just an act of will and ego then, of course, it takes you to madness. You keep bashing away, knocking about in your mind. With the ego, you just get caught in a trap. It seems a web of madness, hard to see beyond, or ever extricate yourself from. So meditation isn”t something we do to attain or achieve or get rid of anything, but to realise.

　　So what can we realise now

　　 What can we realise right now

　　“WelI I”ve been looking for the Ultimate Reality the whole time I”ve been sitting here and I can”t find it.”

　　What can you realise or know now – whatever your state of mind is – whether you”re agitated; having bad thoughts; if you”re angry, if you”re upset, bored, frightened, doubtful, uncertain, or whatever

　　 You can recognise that that”s what is going on now. It”s a realisation that now there is this condition – of fear, doubt, worry, some kind of desire – and that it is a changing thing.

　　If you”re frightened of something, try to hold onto that fear – make it stay, so that it becomes a permanent condition of your mind. See how long you can stay frightened; see if fear is the ultimate reality, is God. Is fear God, the Ultimate Truth

　　 You can see fear. When I”m frightened I know it. There”s fear, but also, when I truly realise there”s fear, its power to delude me diminishes. Fear only has the power if I keep giving it the power.

　　And how does fear have power

　　 By deluding us, by making it seem more than what it is. Fear presents itself in a big way and we react: we run away, and then it gains power over us.

　　That”s how to feed the fear demon: by reacting in the way it wants you to. The fear demon comes ... ferocious, nasty-looking demon – scowls …

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