..续本文上一页om suffering. This is what he would tell us when the opportunity arose.
Whatever knowledge or understanding he had gained in the various places he had lived, he wouldn”t keep from us. When he lived there, his mind was like that; when he lived here, his mind was like this. He even told us about the time his mind realized the land of its hopes.
The way each person”s mind progresses is purely an inpidual matter. It”s not something we can imitate from one another. Even the various realizations we have and the means of expression we use in teaching ourselves, our fellow meditators, and people in general, have to be a matter of our own inpidual wealth, in line with our habits and capabilities, just as a millionaire with lots of wealth uses his own millionaire”s wealth, while a poor person with little wealth makes use of his own wealth. Each person, no matter how rich or poor, makes use of the wealth he or she has been able to accumulate.
In the area of habits and capabilities, how much we may possess depends entirely on ourselves. These aren”t things we can borrow from one another. We have to depend on the capabilities we develop from within. This is why our habits, manners, and conversation, our knowledge and intelligence, our shallowness and depth differ from person to person in line with our capabilities. Even though I studied with Ven. Acariya Mun for a long time, I can”t guarantee that I could take his Dhamma as my own and teach it to others. All I can say is that I depend on however much my own knowledge and capabilities may be, in line with my own strengths, which is just right for me and doesn”t overstep the bounds of what is fitting for me.
As for Ven. Acariya Mun, he was very astute at teaching. For example, he wouldn”t talk about the major points. He”d talk only about how to get there. As soon as he”d get to the major points, he”d detour around them and reappear further on ahead. This is the way it would be every time. He was never willing to open up about the major points. At first I didn”t understand what his intentions were in acting this way, and it was only later that I understood. Whether I”m right or wrong, I have to ask your forgiveness, for he was very astute, in keeping with the fact that he had taught so many students.
There were two reasons why he wouldn”t open up about the major points. One is that those who weren”t really intent on the Dhamma would take his teachings as a shield, claiming them to be their own as a way of advertising themselves and making a living. The other reason is that the Dhamma that was a principle of nature he had known and might describe was not something that could be conjectured about in advance. Once those who were strongly intent on the Dhamma reached those points in their investigation, if they had heard him describe those points beforehand, would be sure to have subtle assumptions or presuppositions infiltrating their minds at that moment, and so they would assume that they understood that level of Dhamma when actually those assumptions would be a cause for self-delusion without their even realizing it.
As far as these two considerations are concerned, I must admit that I”m very foolish because of my good intentions toward those who come intent on studying with me. I”m not the least bit secretive. I”ve revealed everything all along, without holding anything back, not even the things that should be held back. I”ve been open to the full extent of my ability, which has turned into a kind of foolishness without my being aware of it. This has caused those who are really intent on studying with me to misunderstand, latching onto these things as assumptions that turn into their enemies, concealing the true Dhamma, all because I may lack some circumspection with regard to this s…
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