..续本文上一页felt at the end of my rope. I couldn”t stay with my fellow meditators. I couldn”t stay with anyone at all. They”d get in the way. They”d spoil the fun of my internal efforts at investigation — because at that time the mind was really spinning. It had reached the level where it would spin and spin without stopping. At the time, I called it ”spinning as a wheel of Dhamma (dhamma-cakka), not as a wheel of rebirth (vatta-cakka).” It spun to release itself. It spun all the time. And as soon as it fully reached a state of enough, it stopped — completely and unexpectedly.

　　For a while, at first, I had been getting annoyed. ”The more I”ve investigated this mind — and the more refined it has become — why has the burden, instead of growing lighter, become so heavy like this

　　 And it doesn”t have any sense of day or night — why is it

　　” I was getting a little concerned and annoyed. But even though I was annoyed, the mind didn”t let up. It kept spinning there, right before my eyes. It kept spinning, scratching, and digging, looking for things that I hadn”t yet known or seen. Wherever I was caught up at any point, it would keep digging and scratching its way away. As soon as it made contact, it would immediately latch on and stick with it. As soon as it understood, the matter would pass and disappear. The mind would then continue probing. Had Venerable Acariya Mun been alive at that point, things would have gone more quickly.

　　This is why I have taught my fellow meditators that I”ll give them my all. If I can”t solve their problems, I”ll take them to a teacher who can. Those are the lengths I”ll go to — so that my fellow meditators can put their minds to rest. And for this reason, I”m not willing to have some of my talks recorded, because I let everything out. As soon as I”ve finished, the sound vanishes. I talk just for those who are there. People who didn”t understand those matters would think I was bragging. Actually, I speak in line with the truth and to encourage my students: ”It has to be like this. You have to slash into it like this.” That”s just how I put it. It”s as if I give myself as a guarantee so that my students can be confident that what I say isn”t wrong and so that they”ll feel inspired to apply themselves to the effort with strength and resilience. Other people, though, who didn”t understand my motives or anything, would think I was bragging. Instead of benefiting, they”d be harmed. Even if I weren”t harmed, they might be, so I have to be careful.

　　For this reason, on some occasions and with some people where I should really pull out all the stops, that”s what I do. Otherwise I can”t put my mind to rest about them. We really have to give and take. It”s as if we both open up and give it our all to the point where we keep nothing back, not even a cent. This is the way it sometimes is, on some occasions, but not always. It depends on the situation, how far we should go. If we go that far, then if other people listened in, they”d think we were crazy.

　　I myself, when listening to Venerable Acariya Mun talk: If he”d take it that far, it”d go straight to the heart. For three days afterwards I would feel as if the leaves on the trees weren”t moving. The atmosphere would seem absolutely still. The power of his Dhamma blanketed everything — because the people listening were really intent on listening, the person speaking was really intent on speaking, and so they reached each other. As for us, even when we”re told, ”This. This. It”s like this,” we still don”t see. It”s like pointing out things to the blind — pitiful, when you think about it.

　　For this reason, wherever I am, if I haven”t bowed down to Venerable Acariya Mun, I can”t lie down to sleep, no matter where I am. Even if I”m about to do walking meditation, I first face in his direction and pay him homage. If there”s a picture of him as a conventional focus, I pay homage to his picture. If there”s nothing, I take his virtues and form them into a convention to which I pay respect. His virtues will never fade for me. It”s as if he hadn”t passed away: a nature that stays like that, as if he were watching me all the time.

　　This is why all the Noble Disciples who have seen the principles of the truth of the Lord Buddha with their full hearts submit to him. That is, they submit to the principles of the truth that are principles of nature; they don”t submit to his person or anything like that. They submit in that the principles of the truth are now the same for them and will never fade. No matter how far they may be from him, that truth will never fade, because the truth is the same for all of them. Even though the Buddha may have entered total nibbana more than 2,500 years ago, this is not a problem that has an impact on the truth appearing in our hearts. It”s simply the passage of conventional time or of the body — that”s all — but the principle of that truth is unmoving: always one who is pure. Whether alive or totally nibbana-ed, it”s one who is pure.

　　This is a truth that is fixed. Those who know this principle of the truth all trust it in the same way, because the true Buddha, the true Dhamma, and the true Sangha lie in the heart. The heart truly pure is the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha in full measure, untouched and undisturbed by time or place, unlike conventional realities in general.

《Straight from the Heart - Unawareness Converges, Concealing The True Dhamma, the True Mind》全文阅读结束。