..续本文上一页rue Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha are like

　　” They didn”t fit in with any guesses or speculations at all, but were simply a pure truth dwelling with a pure truth.

　　Then I reflected with discouragement back on my fellow living beings with regard to the Dhamma that was in my heart: ”Since this is what the genuine Dhamma is like, how could it be brought out and taught so that others would know and understand

　　 Wouldn”t it be more appropriate to live alone until the day the body breaks apart, rather than try to teach anyone

　　”

　　As soon as I considered this, a kind of realization suddenly appeared to me: ”The Lord Buddha knew this amazing Dhamma all by himself but was able to become the Teacher of living beings throughout the three levels of the cosmos. How is it that I have been able to teach myself and yet get discouraged at the thought of being able to teach others

　　 The way to teach, the way to know isn”t hidden or mysterious.” When I realized this, my discouragement at the thought of teaching my friends gradually faded away.

　　This event made me think of the first moments after the Buddha”s Awakening, when he wearied at the thought of taking the excellent Dhamma in his heart and teaching it to the world because he felt that it lay beyond the capability of other people to realize it. Even though he had aspired to be a Teacher, to instruct the world, he felt that the Dhamma he had realized was a Dhamma beyond reach, that it would be hopeless to encourage the world to accept it and practice so as to know it. But when he reflected on the path he had followed to Awakening, he realized that the Dhamma wasn”t beyond reach or beyond hope, that there would be infinite benefits for the world if he were to teach the way of the Dhamma whose results he had come to see beyond a doubt. This was why he made up his mind to teach the world from that point on.

　　The reason I had felt the same way was because it was a Dhamma I had never before seen or known, and it was a Dhamma utterly amazing. When I looked solely at the results in the present, without reflecting back on the causes — the path I had followed — I felt disheartened and abandoned the idea of telling or teaching anyone about this Dhamma. But since reflecting back on the path I had followed, I have felt more like speaking and acting out the various facets of the Dhamma, in line with the various levels of people who have become involved with me, who have studied and trained with me ever since, to the point where I have become a sham Acariya as decreed by monks, novices and people in general. This being the case, I”ve had to speak, teach, preach, and scold, heavily or lightly as events may call for.

　　I have to beg the forgiveness of my listeners and readers for speaking in an uncouth way to the point of being ugly, but when this scrap of a monk was hiding out in the forest and mountains, he suffered mightily while training himself by struggling in various ways on the verge of death — because of all sorts of sufferings — without anyone to provide him with a funeral. No one knew or was interested, except for a few of those people in the forest and mountains on whom I depended to keep my life going from one day to the next, who may have known of some aspects of some of my sufferings.

　　For this reason, the statement that the Buddha practiced to the point of losing consciousness before gaining Awakening is a truth that those who practice wholeheartedly for the sake of the Dhamma, the paths, fruitions, and nibbana, have to believe wholeheartedly without any doubt. Only those who have never practiced or had any interest in practice, or who practice by tying pillows to the backs of their heads and waiting for defilement to die, or dig graves for defilement by lying down and waiting to rake in the paths, fru…

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