..续本文上一页 any awareness of feelings. All that would remain would be plain awareness. They could sit for aeons, if they liked, as long as the mind was like this.

　　This made me believe in the stories of the Pacceka Buddhas who entered the cessation of feeling and perception. So I took this as a confirmation in my mind. Whoever says I”m crazy can go ahead and say so. They have mouths; we have ears. If we want to listen, we can. If we don”t, we can keep still. We are all free to have our opinions on this matter and that. No one has a monopoly on knowing and seeing!

　　Even though I didn”t sit for a long time, the state of mind that had grown still to that extent for a spell of time was enough to serve as confirmation of those who entered the cessation of feeling and perception for long periods of time, because it had the same characteristics: not involved with anything at all. The body would simply be a body. If it were to fall apart, if it couldn”t last — after all, the body is inconstant, stressful, and not-self — then it would simply fall apart without the mind”s being aware.

　　This is a level attained through mindfulness and discernment. It”s a level where discernment fosters concentration. The mind reaches the full extent of concentration like this because discernment has fully investigated down to causes and effects. It then gathers with courage and great refinement. Ordinarily, when the mind filled with just the power of concentration focuses and settles down, it is simply unmoving and nothing else. It isn”t as profound and refined as this. But the mind stilled through the power of discernment is refined each time. Once we have gone through hand-to-hand combat in this way to the point where we get results, the mind has to be absolutely quiet, just like this.

　　This was the basis, or the starting capital, for my courage; the primary seed for my firm conviction in the affairs of the mind. No matter how much anything else might be annihilated, this knowing nature would not be annihilated. I could see this clearly. I saw it clearly at the point when nothing else was involved in my sense of awareness. There was simply that single awareness and so it was very pronounced. I couldn”t really say whether this was on the level of concentration or of discernment. When the mind actually was that way, that”s how it was.

　　From that point on I kept at it. I kept investigating out in the area of discernment, ranging out widely, then circling back in again. As soon as I would understand, step by step, the mind would let go and circle inward in an ever-narrowing sphere, investigating the khandhas and elements, separating the khandhas and elements.

　　This is where it began to be ”samuccheda-pahana” — absolute relinquishment, arising from the investigation in the period that followed. As long as the investigation hadn”t been absolute, it would win out for only a period of time, just enough to serve as evidence and proof. It still wasn”t absolute relinquishment. But when discernment came to a really clear understanding while investigating, then it pulled out and severed all ties, step by step — severed things so that there were no connections left; severed them step by step, leaving just plain awareness.

　　The body (rupa) was severed from attachment. Vedana, sañña, sankhara, and viññana were severed from attachment. Or you could say that the ”heart” was severed from ”them.” Things kept being severed until only awareness was left — in other words, the mind with unawareness buried inside it. So I probed on in, smashed things to bits, slashed them to smithereens with up-to-the-minute mindfulness and discernment. The mind of unawareness broke apart, and when the mind of unawareness broke apart, that was all!

　　That was when I came to know th…

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