..續本文上一頁of all my pain.

　　Because Shantideva was a prince in the warrior tradition, it”s natural for him to use images of war. His words, however, are not meant to convey aggression. The courage of the samsaric warrior is used as an analogy for the compassionate courage of the bodhisattva. We need bravery to nonaggressively stand our ground against the kleshas. With the weapons of clear determination, intelligent awareness, and compassion, we can short-circuit their seductiveness and power.

　　Of course, we may experience discomfort in the process, the same discomfort and restlessness we go through with any withdrawal. According to tradition, giving in to the lure of kleshas is easy in the beginning, but makes our lives increasingly more difficult in the end. In contrast, withdrawing from habitual responses is difficult in the beginning, but our lives become increasingly more relaxed and free in the end.

　　When we”re going through klesha withdrawal, it helps to know we”re on the right track. Shantideva remarks that—just as foolish rivals endure physical pain, sleeplessness, and even death—he will go through the anguish of detox to cease being a slave to his kleshas. He will not lose heart and give up because of pain or fear.

　　4.39

　　The wounds inflicted by the enemy in futile wars

　　Are flaunted by the soldier as a trophy.

　　So in the high endeavor for so great a prize,

　　Why should hurt and injury dismay me

　　In the wars fought because of greed or hatred, soldiers proudly display their wounds: their injuries are like trophies for bravery. We can also expect “wounds” when we interrupt the momentum of the kleshas. In such a worthy endeavor as liberation from samsara, we could take pride in the suffering we go through. Instead of complaining, let”s regard these wounds as trophies.

　　4.40

　　When fishers, butchers, farmers, and the like,

　　Intending just to gain their livelihood,

　　Will suffer all the miseries of heat and cold,

　　How can I not bear the same to gain the happiness of beings

　　People go through hell for their livelihood. Fishermen go out on icy waters in the bitter cold. Farmers lose everything when there”s an untimely frost. Athletes endure incredible pain to win the prize. We”re willing to go through almost anything if we think it will pay off. What if we were that willing to do what it takes to nurture the bodhi heart

　　 With this kind of intention, we could achieve the greatest satisfaction for ourselves and others—far greater than the benefits of any other pursuit.

　　4.41

　　When I pledged myself to free from their affliction

　　Beings who abide in every region,

　　Stretching to the limits of the sky,

　　I myself was subject to the same afflictions.

　　4.42

　　Thus I did not have the measure of my strength—

　　To speak like this was clear insanity.

　　More reason, then, for never drawing back,

　　Abandoning the fight against defiled confusion.

　　This is what distinguishes a mature bodhisattva, such as Shantideva, from bodhisattvas-in-training. When he says that taking the bodhisattva vow was clear insanity, he”s not expressing feelings of despondency or inadequacy. He”s saying it as an incentive to get busy, to do whatever it takes to live his life as attentively and wakefully as possible. Instead of indulging in guilt and other variations on the theme of failure, he spurs himself on.

　　The next time you are feeling hopeless because you can”t make a dent in your confusion, you can encourage yourself with Shantideva”s words: More reason, then, for never drawing back.

　　Every courageous gesture we make, whether or not we think it”s successful, definitely imprints our mind in a positive way. The slightest willingness to interrupt our old habits predisposes us to greater bravery, greater strength, and greater empathy for others. No matter how trapped we feel, we can always be…

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