..續本文上一頁y, or was he referring to the clandestine gluey mix
I stammered and mumbled about struggling with the one meal practice. On looking back, Shifu could have chastised me loudly on the clandestine mix but, I think, out of compassion he decided to let me off.
在我出家早期，正在學習日中一食時，有時在早上，我的胃會餓得咕咕叫。有一天早上，我在廚房找到一盒麥片，是那種對上水就會變成稀糊的麥片。我對上水喝下去了，填一填我餓得發慌的肚子。第二天，上人打電話來，第一句就是「你最近吃東西的情況怎麼樣？」我驚呆了！上人是問我習慣日中一食嗎？還是在問我那碗偷喝的稀麥糊？我結結巴巴地回答說，我正在努力適應日中一食。現在我回想起來，師父很可以罵我一頓偷吃東西，但是我想，他是出于慈悲心腸，才放我一馬，讓我過關。
In work matters, Shifu would scold me severely for my mistakes and grill me time and again, but sometimes he would give me a break. However, when he gave those breaks, I could feel it. It was like a narrow escape from an accident. I could feel the great relief of being spared the scolding. Shifu was firm and tough in his teaching, but in his unpretentious way he was also very compassionate. Shifu had an amazing memory of many things way into the distant past and down to the smallest details. I knew I was always making mistakes and full of afflictions. I wanted guidance, but didn”t know how to ask for it. As a disciple of Shifu, I was like the kid floundering in the pool but knowing that Daddy is always close at hand to make sure that I don”t drown. To this day, I still have that confidence in Shifu. Like the gentle shepherd, he would ensure that none of his sheep stray into harm.
工作上，我做錯了事的時候，上人會很嚴厲地罵我。但是有時候，我感覺得出，上人也會讓我松口氣，那時我會有死裏逃生的感覺。上人教誨十分嚴峻，但也是真的很慈悲。上人的記性驚人，能記得許多陳年往事，以及細枝末節。我知道我自己總是犯錯，又有許多煩惱。我需要指引，但是又不知道怎麼找。做爲上人的弟子，我覺得自己好像一個小孩子，雖然在水池裏翻騰，但是知道爸爸就在身邊，不會讓我淹死的。就是現在我還是對上人有那種信心。上人好像一個溫和的牧羊人，不會讓他的羊走失，而受到傷害。
One of my weaknesses is memorizing the ceremonies. One morning, not long after I left home, Shifu phoned when we were in the second half of the morning ceremony. I answered the phone, and Shifu asked me where we were at, and I told him. He then asked me to recite Universal Worthy (Samantabhadra) Bodhisattva”t ten great vows in Chinese. I was completely unprepared for such a test, although a small one. As I dripped out a word here and there, Shifu very patiently prompted me, filling in the blanks for me. I felt like crying. Here was a lofty virtuous teacher, worshipped by thousands over the world, very gently guiding me to say those vows which I should have memorized. I felt like I did not deserve such tender loving care for being so stupid and such a slow learner.
記不住早晚功課，是我的弱點之一。在我出家不久之後的一天早課，正進行了一半，上人正好打電話來。我接電話，上人問我，你們念到哪裏了？我告訴了上人，上人就叫我用中文背誦「普賢菩薩十大願」。雖然是一個小小的測驗，我完全沒有心裏准備，我只得這邊擠一個字，那邊擠一個字，上人很有耐心地幫我填進那些我背不出的地方。那時我真想哭，上人這麼一位高僧大德，受著世界上多少人的崇拜，竟這樣地引導我背這十大行願。根本我自己早就該背會的。我覺得我自己這麼笨，不值得上人這麼細心的呵護。
One day Shifu asked me about an argument I had with someone a few months earlier. With his special radar, he knew it but had kept it until the right moment to point out my problems. Again, in a few words, Shifu made me realize my folly. I can still remember the way he said:“Why be angry, huh
” His tone was so gentle and soft that it made me feel like crying. At that moment, I felt that whatever words of repentance I said would not make up for my burst of anger. When Shifu opened the subject, I was bracing up for a loud scolding, but Shifu in his expedience frequently surprised me with the unexpected. He knew me inside out only too well.
有一天，上人問起幾個月前我跟人爭論的一樁事。上人以他特有的「雷達」，早知道這樁事了；但是上人一直等時機成熟了，才指出我的問題。又一次，叁言兩語，上人就讓我看清楚了我自己多蠢。我現在還記得上人當時怎麼說的。上人說：「爲什麼生氣？啊？」上人語調這麼溫和柔軟，使我幾乎想哭，那一刻，我覺得不論我用什麼話來忏悔，我都沒法彌補我那次所發的脾氣。當上人開始問我這樁事的時候，我以爲上人會痛罵我一頓，但上人的方便法常常出乎我意料之外。上人看我真是看得一清二楚。
Shifu has many expedient ways of teaching living beings and I am one of the very fortunate ones to receive his patient and compassionate teaching. No amount of words will show my profound gratitude towards Shifu for accepting me as his disciple. I know deep inside that Shifu will continue to guide me. I vow that life after life, I will seek out Venerable Master Hsuan Hua to be my teacher.
師父上人教化衆生，有許多方便法，我很幸運能受到上人的又慈悲，又有耐心的教導。我對上人收我爲徒的感激之情，不是語言所能表達的。我內心深知上人會繼續指引我，我發願生生世世，我都要追隨上人，拜上人爲師父。
《權巧方便 Expedient Teaching》全文閱讀結束。