..续本文上一页y, or was he referring to the clandestine gluey mix
I stammered and mumbled about struggling with the one meal practice. On looking back, Shifu could have chastised me loudly on the clandestine mix but, I think, out of compassion he decided to let me off.
在我出家早期，正在学习日中一食时，有时在早上，我的胃会饿得咕咕叫。有一天早上，我在厨房找到一盒麦片，是那种对上水就会变成稀糊的麦片。我对上水喝下去了，填一填我饿得发慌的肚子。第二天，上人打电话来，第一句就是「你最近吃东西的情况怎么样？」我惊呆了！上人是问我习惯日中一食吗？还是在问我那碗偷喝的稀麦糊？我结结巴巴地回答说，我正在努力适应日中一食。现在我回想起来，师父很可以骂我一顿偷吃东西，但是我想，他是出于慈悲心肠，才放我一马，让我过关。
In work matters, Shifu would scold me severely for my mistakes and grill me time and again, but sometimes he would give me a break. However, when he gave those breaks, I could feel it. It was like a narrow escape from an accident. I could feel the great relief of being spared the scolding. Shifu was firm and tough in his teaching, but in his unpretentious way he was also very compassionate. Shifu had an amazing memory of many things way into the distant past and down to the smallest details. I knew I was always making mistakes and full of afflictions. I wanted guidance, but didn”t know how to ask for it. As a disciple of Shifu, I was like the kid floundering in the pool but knowing that Daddy is always close at hand to make sure that I don”t drown. To this day, I still have that confidence in Shifu. Like the gentle shepherd, he would ensure that none of his sheep stray into harm.
工作上，我做错了事的时候，上人会很严厉地骂我。但是有时候，我感觉得出，上人也会让我松口气，那时我会有死里逃生的感觉。上人教诲十分严峻，但也是真的很慈悲。上人的记性惊人，能记得许多陈年往事，以及细枝末节。我知道我自己总是犯错，又有许多烦恼。我需要指引，但是又不知道怎么找。做为上人的弟子，我觉得自己好像一个小孩子，虽然在水池里翻腾，但是知道爸爸就在身边，不会让我淹死的。就是现在我还是对上人有那种信心。上人好像一个温和的牧羊人，不会让他的羊走失，而受到伤害。
One of my weaknesses is memorizing the ceremonies. One morning, not long after I left home, Shifu phoned when we were in the second half of the morning ceremony. I answered the phone, and Shifu asked me where we were at, and I told him. He then asked me to recite Universal Worthy (Samantabhadra) Bodhisattva”t ten great vows in Chinese. I was completely unprepared for such a test, although a small one. As I dripped out a word here and there, Shifu very patiently prompted me, filling in the blanks for me. I felt like crying. Here was a lofty virtuous teacher, worshipped by thousands over the world, very gently guiding me to say those vows which I should have memorized. I felt like I did not deserve such tender loving care for being so stupid and such a slow learner.
记不住早晚功课，是我的弱点之一。在我出家不久之后的一天早课，正进行了一半，上人正好打电话来。我接电话，上人问我，你们念到哪里了？我告诉了上人，上人就叫我用中文背诵「普贤菩萨十大愿」。虽然是一个小小的测验，我完全没有心里准备，我只得这边挤一个字，那边挤一个字，上人很有耐心地帮我填进那些我背不出的地方。那时我真想哭，上人这么一位高僧大德，受着世界上多少人的崇拜，竟这样地引导我背这十大行愿。根本我自己早就该背会的。我觉得我自己这么笨，不值得上人这么细心的呵护。
One day Shifu asked me about an argument I had with someone a few months earlier. With his special radar, he knew it but had kept it until the right moment to point out my problems. Again, in a few words, Shifu made me realize my folly. I can still remember the way he said:“Why be angry, huh
” His tone was so gentle and soft that it made me feel like crying. At that moment, I felt that whatever words of repentance I said would not make up for my burst of anger. When Shifu opened the subject, I was bracing up for a loud scolding, but Shifu in his expedience frequently surprised me with the unexpected. He knew me inside out only too well.
有一天，上人问起几个月前我跟人争论的一桩事。上人以他特有的「雷达」，早知道这桩事了；但是上人一直等时机成熟了，才指出我的问题。又一次，三言两语，上人就让我看清楚了我自己多蠢。我现在还记得上人当时怎么说的。上人说：「为什么生气？啊？」上人语调这么温和柔软，使我几乎想哭，那一刻，我觉得不论我用什么话来忏悔，我都没法弥补我那次所发的脾气。当上人开始问我这桩事的时候，我以为上人会痛骂我一顿，但上人的方便法常常出乎我意料之外。上人看我真是看得一清二楚。
Shifu has many expedient ways of teaching living beings and I am one of the very fortunate ones to receive his patient and compassionate teaching. No amount of words will show my profound gratitude towards Shifu for accepting me as his disciple. I know deep inside that Shifu will continue to guide me. I vow that life after life, I will seek out Venerable Master Hsuan Hua to be my teacher.
师父上人教化众生，有许多方便法，我很幸运能受到上人的又慈悲，又有耐心的教导。我对上人收我为徒的感激之情，不是语言所能表达的。我内心深知上人会继续指引我，我发愿生生世世，我都要追随上人，拜上人为师父。
《权巧方便 Expedient Teaching》全文阅读结束。