魅力

　　Magic Power

　　一位修行人向我講訴了他最近的一些感受：

　　A Dharma practitioner confided to me his recent experiences:

　　因爲自己修行不夠、障垢深厚，在面對紛至沓來的各種外境時，被強烈的我執所控製，明知自己是作繭自縛，卻難以自拔。前段時間煩惱深重到難以自製的程度，我甚至想到了死。

　　A while ago I was deeply besieged by all kinds of problems. With my insufficient training and heavy burden of obscurations, I responded with strong self-attachment. Even knowing well I was falling into a pit of my own digging, I had no way to extricate myself. My troubled emotions went haywire to the extent that I even contemplated committing suicide.

　　當然，作爲一個佛教徒，我不會選擇這條無異于深淵的道路，米拉日巴在面對困境准備自殺時，俄巴喇嘛的一段話令我至今記憶猶新：“自身的蘊、界、處就是佛陀，在壽命未終的時候，即使行轉識法，都有殺佛之罪。”更何況，心性本自清淨，只因見境思境，才會産生迷亂，才會引發痛苦。我怎能對眼前的迷幻産生實執呢？我反複地“開導”自己，但在業障現前卻不能排遣時，那種痛徹心肺的疼痛卻是永生難忘的。

　　As a Buddhist, of course I knew too well that I should steer away from this track that leads nowhere but to an immense crevasse. I recall clearly that when Milarepa was about to kill himself, Lama Ngokpa restrained him and said: “The faculties and the senses of each of us are innately pine. If you die before your time, even by the transference of consciousness, you commit the sin of killing a Buddha.” Moreover, our mind is primordially pure; it is only the confused emotions prompted by external circumstances that cause us to suffer. How can I take the hallucinating appearance as real and true

　　 Again and again, I tried to persuade myself. Yet as evil karma played out in an unstoppable way, the piercing pain that crushed me will never be forgotten.

　　一天，我邁著沈重的步伐，走到窗口。望著街頭熙熙攘攘的人群，看著他們爲衣食、爲名利而奔波的忙碌身影，我忽然意識到自己是多麼的幸福。當他們因爲無明愚癡而爲自己開辟了通往惡趣的通衢大道，自己卻渾然不覺時，我卻掌握了即生解脫的至尊法寶。雖然我還沒有擺脫痛苦，但通過所學的道理已經能審慎取舍以減少痛苦的因，並盡力去認識痛苦的本性，可以說離解脫已經不遠了。然而，還有那麼多的人卻仍將直面無窮盡、無了期的苦痛。想想他們，自己的痛苦又算得了什麼呢？一次又一次，我在上師叁寶前發自內心地發下了普度衆生的弘願，如果連“我”的怪圈都不能走出，普度衆生就成了一句蒼白的臺詞。

　　Until one day, I dragged my heavy legs to the window and saw on the street crowds busily coming and going, all striving for food, clothes, fame, and money. Suddenly, I realized how lucky I have been! As their ignorance and feeble minds open up the throughway to lower realms, they are still totally oblivious of their calamities. In contrast, I have in my hand the supreme instruction for gaining liberation in this very life. Although I am not yet free from suffering, at least I can choose carefully what to do and what to avoid and thus minimize the causes of future sufferings; with one more step to recognize the true nature of suffering, I can say liberation is right there. My suffering really amounts to nothing when compared with those of many others who still face endless and unfathomable miseries. Repeatedly, in front of the Three Jewels, I pledged from the depths of my heart to liberate them. Now, if I cannot manage to break free from the queer trap of self-grasping, all my vows are but insipid lines of a play.

　　我知道，消除我執目前唯一的選擇就是祈禱上師叁寶，忏悔罪障、發菩提心。經過一段時間的努力，我終于走出了那段低谷，而且，即使將來再遇到違緣時，我想我也能有條不紊地面對了。應用佛法，我走出了困境，變得更加堅強，這對于一直身處順境的我，無疑是上了一堂生動的實踐課，令我對輪回是苦産生了切身的體會，對世間産生了並非造作的厭離心。如果沒有這些煩惱，我也不會有這些收獲，感謝叁寶的加持，使我能從違緣、痛苦中發現人生的巨大價值——爲救度衆生而圓證無上菩提。我將生生世世爲這一目標而努力！

　　The only choice to rid myself of self-attachment that I know of is to pray to the teacher and the Three Jewels, to purify my defilement, and arouse bodhichitta. After working hard for a while, I finally found my way out of the dark abyss and, should similar obstacles arise again in the future, I believe I can handle them more skillfully. Making use of Buddha”s teachings, I am now out of the woods and have become more resilient. For me, a person who has been living a sheltered life, the whole episode is a life lesson teaching me the sufferings of samsara; by experiencing them personally, genuine renunciation has taken birth in me. Come to think of it, this realization would not have dawned on me had I not been plagued by problems in the first place. I thank the blessings of the Three Jewels that have rescued me from the pits of hindrances and pains, and that I have discovered the immense value of human life—to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. This, and only this, is the goal that I will be striving for life after life!

　　聽了他的講述，我爲他在遭遇困難時，能以正知正念對治而深感欣慰。當我們面對世間的葛藤、牽絆而束手無策時，通過佛法，永遠能找到對治的途徑。這，就是佛法的魅力。

　　I feel deeply gratified after hearing his story that he has overcome difficulties with proper Dharma remedies. Whenever we are at our wits” end about the entanglement of mundane affairs, it is high time to apply Buddha”s teachings as antidotes. This, then, is the magic power of the Dharma.

　　壬午年六月十八日 　

　　2002年7月27日 　

　　18th of June, Year of RenWu

　　July 27, 2002

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