爲難
A Dilemma
世上每個人，不論他們的智慧如何深廣，總會遇到不能兩全其美的事，更何況像我這樣的淺慧之人。今天發生的一件事，就使我左右爲難。
People in the world, even the most knowledgeable and learned, will unavoidably encounter some dilemmas in life. What need I say about a person of shallow wisdom like me
For instance, I was thrown into a quandary by the incident that happened today.
幾天前，一位從東北千裏迢迢趕來的居士告訴我說：“我最近看了您翻譯的《釋迦牟尼佛廣傳》，我被佛陀在因地時深廣的發心和行爲強烈地震撼著。我多麼想象他一樣抛棄一切，行菩提行。看到學院幾千出家人清淨而又自由自在的生活，我真想加入他們的行列。如果留在世間，我只有渾渾噩噩地虛耗此生，毫無意義。希望您能成全我。”
A few days ago, a lay practitioner came to see me after having traveled a great distance from the northeastern part of the country. He entreated me: “Lama, these days I have been reading your translation of The Great Biography of Buddha Shakyamuni. The stories of Buddha”s aspiration and practices when he was on the Bodhisattva path struck me to the core. I yearn strongly to follow his example to renounce all worldly affairs and practice the way of enlightenment. Here I see thousands of Sangha members of the academy living a wholesome and unfettered life; how I wish to join them! If I remain in the mundane world, I will end up drifting, wasting my life meaninglessly. Venerable Lama, please do grant me my wishes!”
聽了他的話，我十分贊賞，當即同意他出家。不料，他的妻子剛才給我打來電話：“堪布啊！我也是十分虔誠的佛教徒，也向往出家的清淨生活。但如今我們的兒子只有七個月，母親在醫院已沈疴難起，我又沒有工作。如果他走了，剩下我們孤兒寡母該如何生存？作爲大乘佛子，難道就應該置生病的老母、年幼的兒子、無助的妻子于不顧，到深山去發菩提心嗎？”
His candor touched me deeply and I gave him my blessings for him to become a monk. Yet out of the blue I just received a call from his wife, who pleaded over the phone: “Venerable Khenpo! I myself am a devoted Buddhist and I also wish for an ordained life free from worldly strife. But in our household, we have a son of merely 7 months old, a bedridden mother in the hospital, and I myself am without a job. Should my husband leave us, how does he expect his widow and orphaned son to survive
Is it proper for a Mahayana practitioner to abandon his ailing old mother, his infant son, and his helpless wife
Can he disregard their welfare and hide among deep mountains to arouse bodhichitta
”
聽了她的話，我深感爲難，想起六世達賴喇嘛倉央嘉措的那首詩：“曾慮多情損梵行，入山又恐別傾城，世間安得雙全法，不負如來不負卿？”
After hearing her side of story, I was at a loss. The situation reminded me a poem by His Holiness the 6th D_Lama Tsangyang Gyatso:
I worried that being romantic would ruin my pure conduct,
Yet up in the mountains I vexed over losing my pretty lady.
Why can”t I have the best of both worlds
That would please both the Tathagata and my sweetheart
既想令孤立無援的她得到救護，又能成全她丈夫出家的宏願，如何才能找到皆大歡喜的良方呢？
How can I find a perfect solution that will make everybody happy—in one way to find support for the lonely and desperate wife, and in another way to fulfill her husband”s wish of becoming a monk
壬午年六月十二日
2002年7月21日
12th of June, Year of RenWu
July 21, 2002