Consciousness and Sensitivity

　　by Ajahn Sumedho

　　Extracts from a talk given to the Theravada Class at the Buddhist Society in London, September 1989 by Venerable Ajahn Sumedho.

　　Sometimes we approach meditation too much from an ideal of trying to control the mind, and get rid of unwanted mental states. It can become an obsession. Meditation can be just another thing we have to do; and this worldly attitude tends to affect what we”re doing. See meditation, not as something to measure yourself as a person with, but as an opportunity to be mindful and at peace with yourself and with whatever mood or state you happen to be in at this moment. Learn to be one who”s at peace with the way things are, rather than trying to become something, or to achieve a state that you”d like to have.

　　That whole way of thinking is based on delusion. I remember when I started meditation in Thailand, all my ambitious and aggressive tendencies would start taking over. The way I”d lived my life affected how I would approach meditation. So I began to notice that I began to let go of things and to accept even those tendencies, and to be attentive to the way it is. The more you trust in that, the more quickly you will understand the Dhamma, or the way out of suffering.

　　Notice how things affect your mind. If you”ve just come from your work or from your home, notice what that does to your mind. Don”t criticise it - we”re not here to blame, or to think that there”s something wrong with our profession if our mind isn”t tranquil and pure and serene when we come here. But notice the busyness of life: having to talk to people, having to answer telephones, having to type, or to travel across London in the rush hour. Maybe we”re having to work with people that we don”t like in difficult, aggravating situations. Just notice - not to criticise, but just to accept that these things do have an effect on us.

　　Recognise that this is the experience of consciousness and sensitivity. That”s what being born as a human being amounts to, isn”t it

　　 You”re born, and you have to live a lifetime as a conscious being in a very sensitive form. So what impinges on you, what comes to you from the objective world is going to affect you. It”s just the way it is, there”s noting wrong with it. But then as ignorant human beings we take it all personally, we tend to make everything very personal. It”s as if I shouldn”t be affected by these things that impinge on me. I shouldn”t feel anger, or aversion, or greed, or irritation and frustration, envy, jealousy, fear, anxiety - I shouldn”t be feeling these things. If I were a normal, healthy man I wouldn”t have any of these problems. If I were a normal, healthy man I wouldn”t be sensitive at all - like a rhinoceros, with a tough hide that nothing could ever get through!

　　But recognise that being human, we have these extremely sensitive forms. So then you realise there”s nothing really wrong with you. It”s just the way it is. Life is like this. We live in a society that is just the way it is. Living in London or in suburbia, or in villages or whatever, we can spend our time grumbling because it”s not perfect, or there are many things that are irritating, or not very nice about may aspects of our lives. But then being sensitive is like this, isn”t it

　　 Sensitivity means that we”re going to, whatever it is - whether it”s pleasant or unpleasant, pleasurable, painful, beautiful, ugly - we”re going to feel it.

　　And so the way out of suffering is through mindfulness. When you”re truly mindful, there”s no self. You”re not taking life”s experiences from the assumptions of being a person. You can try to make yourself insensitive - close your eyes, put ear plugs in your ears, try to be totally insensitive, shut everything out. That”s one type of medit…

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