..续本文上一页ing something quite different from what we think, they are doing something that has nothing to do with us, but because we have a wrong perception, we think that the other person is the cause of our suffering. In fact, the suffering, the anger which arises here, is wholly dependent on the wrong perception.

　　We have heard the story about someone who was rowing a boat along a stream in the mist. He was making a lot of effort because he was rowing against the stream, and then he saw another boat coming downstream towards him. Instead of moving out of his way, the boat seemed to be coming straight for him. He shouted out, "Take care! Take care! Get out of the way!" And with all his strength he tries to get out of the way, but the boat continues coming towards him. His boat capsizes, and the other boat capsizes, and the person who had been rowing becomes very angry, and he says, "I will get even with the person rowing the other boat." But when he gets out onto the shore, he sees that there is no one else. The other boat didn”t have anybody in it.

　　We think that the other person had somebody in them, and that they were coming straight towards us, and we get angry with them for that. If we knew that that boat didn”t have anybody in it, we wouldn”t have gotten angry. In many cases, because of our wrong perceptions, we suffer. When we suffer, we put the blame on somebody else, just as in the story of the woman called Nam Xuong. She was pregnant, but her husband had to go into the army. When he came back from the army, the child was already three years old. This was the first time that he had seen his child. He asked his wife to go to the market and buy offerings for the ancestral altar. While his wife was out, he said to the little boy, "Why don”t you call me Daddy

　　" The little boy said, "You”re not my daddy. My daddy comes every night and sometimes my mommy cries with my daddy, and often my mother talks to my daddy a whole hour. When my mommy sits down, my daddy sits down, and when my mommy lies down, my daddy lies down."

　　When the husband heard this he thought that his wife had been unfaithful, and when she came back from the market he didn”t want to look at her. When everything was prepared on the altar to the ancestors, he touched the earth before the ancestors, but he didn”t allow his wife to touch the earth in front of the ancestors, because he thought that if she had been unfaithful to him, she has betrayed the ancestors, and therefore she should not prostrate in front of them. And his wife suffered a great deal. Why did her husband not look at her

　　 Why did her husband not allow her to prostrate

　　 Why did he roll up the mat and not allow her to prostrate

　　 Why didn”t he stay to have the celebration meal after coming home

　　 Why did he go to the wine bar and get drunk, and come back at three o”clock

　　 And why did he get up in the early morning and go out and get drunk again

　　 His wife suffered so much that she could not stand it any more, and so she went and jumped into the river and killed herself.

　　When the husband heard that his wife had died, he came home to look after the little boy, and that night, when he lit the lamp, the child shouted out: "Mister, Mister, Daddy”s come—here he is!" And the boy pointed to the shadow of his father on the wall. Then he understood that every night while he was away in the army, his wife would light the lamp, and she would talk to her shadow on the wall. She would say, "You”ve been away so long. You”ve been away many years. How can I bring our child up on my own

　　" And she would cry. The reason she had done this was that one day the child had come home and said: "Where”s my daddy

　　 Other children have daddies—where”s my daddy

　　" His mother had pointed to the shadow on, the wall and said, "Look, that”s…

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