..续本文上一页r liked riding in the Underground in London. I”d complain about it: ”I don”t want to go on the underground with those awful posters and dingy Underground stations. I don”t want to be packed into those little trains under the ground.” I found it a totally unpleasant experience. But I”d listen to this complaining, moaning voice — the suffering of not wanting to be with something unpleasant. Then, having contemplated this, I stopped making anything of it so that I could be with the unpleasant and un-beautiful without suffering about it. I realised that it”s just that way and it”s all right. We needn”t make problems — either about being in a dingy Underground station or about looking at beautiful scenery. Things are as they are, so we can recognise and appreciate them in their changing forms without grasping. Grasping is wanting to hold on to something we like; wanting to get rid of something we don”t like; or wanting to get something we don”t have.
We can also suffer a lot because of other people. I remember that in Thailand I used to have quite negative thoughts about one of the monks. Then he”d do something and I”d think, ”He shouldn”t do that,” or he”d say something, ”He shouldn”t say that!” I”d carry this monk around in my mind and then, even if I went to some other place, I”d think of that monk; the perception of him would arise and the same reactions would come: ”Do you remember when he said this and when he did that
” and: ”He shouldn”t have said that and he shouldn”t have done that.”
Having found a teacher like Ajahn Chah, I remember wanting him to be perfect. I”d think, ”Oh, he”s a marvellous teacher — marvellous!” But then he might do something that would upset me and I”d think, ”I don”t want him to do anything that upsets me because I like to think of him as being marvellous.” That was like saying, ”Ajahn Chah, be marvellous for me all the time. Don”t ever do anything that will put any kind of negative thought into my mind.” So even when you find somebody that you really respect and love, there”s still the suffering of attachment. Inevitably, they will do or say something that you”re not going to like or approve of, causing you some kind of doubt — and you”ll suffer.
At one time, several American monks came to Wat Pah Pong, our monastery in Northeastern Thailand. They were very critical and it seemed that they only saw what was wrong with it. They didn”t think Ajahn Chah was a very good teacher and they didn”t like the monastery. I felt a great anger and hatred arising because they were criticising something that I loved. I felt indignant — ”Well, if you don”t like it, get out of here. He”s the finest teacher in the world and if you can”t see that then just GO!” That kind of attachment — being in love or being devoted — is suffering because if something or someone you love or like is criticised, you feel angry and indignant.
INSIGHT IN SITUATIONS
Sometimes insight arises at the most unexpected times. This happened to me while living at Wat Pah Pong. The Northeastern part of Thailand is not the most beautiful or desirable place in the world with its scrubby forests and flat plain; it also gets extremely hot during the hot season. We”d have to go out in the heat of the mid-afternoon before each of the Observance Days and sweep the leaves off the paths. There were vast areas to sweep. We would spend the whole afternoon in the hot sun, sweating and sweeping the leaves into piles with crude brooms; this was one of our duties. I didn”t like doing this. I”d think, ”I don”t want to do this. I didn”t come here to sweep the leaves off the ground; I came here to get enlightened — and instead they have me sweeping leaves off the ground. Besides, it”s hot and I have a fair skin; I might get skin cancer from being out here i…
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