..续本文上一页n a hot climate.”

　　I was standing out there one afternoon, feeling really miserable, thinking, ”What am I doing here

　　 Why did I come here

　　 Why am I staying here

　　” There I stood with my long crude broom and absolutely no energy, feeling sorry for myself and hating everything. Then Ajahn Chah came up, smiled at me and said, ”Wat Pah Pong is a lot of suffering, isn”t it

　　” and walked away. So I thought, ”Why did he say that

　　” and, ”Actually, you know, it”s not all that bad.” He got me to contemplate: Is sweeping the leaves really that unpleasant

　　 ... No, it”s not. It”s a kind of neutral thing; you sweep the leaves, and it”s neither here nor there ... Is sweating all that terrible

　　 Is it really a miserable, humiliating experience

　　 Is it really as bad as I”m pretending it is

　　 ... No — sweating is all right, it”s a perfectly natural thing to be doing. And I don”t have skin cancer and the people at Wat Pah Pong are very nice. The teacher is a very kind wise man. The monks have treated me well. The lay people come and give me food to eat, and ... What am I complaining about

　　”

　　Reflecting upon the actual experience of being there, I thought, ”I”m all right. People respect me, I”m treated well. I”m being taught by pleasant people in a very pleasant country. There”s nothing really wrong with anything, except me; I”m making a problem out of it because I don”t want to sweat and I don”t want to sweep leaves.” Then I had a very clear insight. I suddenly perceived something in me which was always complaining and criticising, and which was preventing me from ever giving myself to anything or offering myself to any situation.

　　Another experience I learned from was the custom of washing the feet of the senior monks when they returned from the almsround. After they walked barefoot through the villages and rice paddies, their feet would be muddy. There were foot baths outside the dining hall. When Ajahn Chah would come, all the monks — maybe twenty or thirty of them — would rush out and wash Ajahn Chah”s feet. When I first saw this I thought, ”I”m not going to do that — not me!” Then the next day, thirty monks rushed out as soon as Ajahn Chah appeared and washed his feet — I thought, ”What a stupid thing to be doing - thirty monks washing one man”s feet. I”m not going to do that.” The day after that, the reaction became even more violent ... thirty monks rushed out and washed Ajahn Chah”s feet and ... ”That really angers me, I”m fed up with it! I just feel that is the most stupid thing I”ve ever seen — thirty men going out to wash one man”s feet! He probably thinks he deserves it, you know — it”s really building up his ego. He”s probably got an enormous ego, having so many people wash his feet every day. I”ll never do that!”

　　I was beginning to build up a strong reaction, an overreaction. I would sit there really feeling miserable and angry. I”d look at the monks and I”d think, ”They all look stupid to me. I don”t know what I”m doing here.”

　　But then I started listening and I thought, ”This is really an unpleasant frame of mind to be in. Is it anything to get upset about

　　 They haven”t made me do it. It”s all right; there”s nothing wrong with thirty men washing one man”s feet. It”s not immoral or bad behaviour and maybe they enjoy it; maybe they want to do it — maybe it”s all right to do that ... Maybe I should do it!” So the next morning, thirty-one monks ran out and washed Ajahn Chah”s feet. There was no problem after that. It felt really good: that nasty thing in me had stopped.

　　We can reflect upon these things that arouse indignation and anger in us: is something really wrong with them or is it something we create dukkha about

　　 Then we begin to understand the problems we create in our own lives and in the lives of the people around us.

　　With mindfu…

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