..续本文上一页ng, “I can”t do it--I won”t have rice to eat”

　　Matches that you use in your home—are you able to make them

　　 You can”t; so how do you come to have matches

　　 Is it only the case that those who can make matches have matches to use

　　 What about the bowls you eat from

　　 Here in the villages, does anyone know how to make them

　　 But do people have them in their houses

　　 So where do you get them from

　　There are plenty of things we don”t know how to make, but still we can earn money to buy them. This is using our intelligence to find a way. In meditation we also need to do this. We find out ways to avoid wrongdoing and practice what is right. Look at the Buddha and his disciples. Once they were ordinary beings, but they developed themselves to progress through the stages of stream entry on up to arahant. They did this through training. Gradually wisdom grows. A sense of shame towards wrongdoing comes about.

　　I once taught a sage. He was a lay patron who came to practice and keep precepts on the observance days, but he would still go fishing. I tried to teach him further but couldn”t solve this problem. He said he didn”t kill fish; they simply came to swallow his hook.

　　I kept at it, teaching him until he felt some contrition over this. He was ashamed of it, but he kept doing it. Then his rationalization changed. He would put the hook in the water and announce, “Whichever fish has reached the end of its karma to be alive, come and eat my hook. If your time has not yet come, do not eat my hook.” He had changed his excuse, but still the fish came to eat. Finally he started looking at them, their mouths caught on the hook, and he felt some pity. But he still couldn”t resolve his mind. “Well, I told them not to eat the hook if it wasn”t time; what can I do if they still come

　　” And then he”d think, “But they are dying because of me.” He went back and forth on this until finally he could stop.

　　But then there were the frogs. He couldn”t bear to stop catching frogs to eat. “Don”t do this!” I told him. “Take a good look at them. . . . OK, if you can”t stop killing them, I won”t forbid you, but please just look at them before you do that.” So he picked up a frog and looked at it. He looked at its face, its eyes, its legs. “Oh man, it looks like my child: it has arms and legs. Its eyes are open, it”s looking at me….” He felt hurt. But still he killed them. He looked at each one like this, and then killed it, feeling he was doing something bad. His wife was pushing him, saying they wouldn”t have anything to eat if he didn”t kill frogs.

　　Finally he couldn”t bear it anymore. He would catch them but wouldn”t break their legs like before; previously he would break their legs so they couldn”t hop away. Still, he couldn”t make himself let them go. “Well, I”m just taking care of them, feeding them here. I”m only raising them; whatever someone else might do, I don”t know about that.” But of course he knew. The others were still killing them for food. After a while he could admit this to himself. “Well, I”ve cut my bad karma by 50 percent anyhow. Someone else does the killing.”

　　This was starting to drive him crazy, but he couldn”t yet let go. He still kept the frogs at home. He wouldn”t break their legs anymore, but his wife would. “It”s my fault. Even if I don”t do it, they do it because of me.” Finally he gave it up altogether. But then his wife was complaining. “What are we going to do

　　 What should we eat

　　”

　　He was really caught now. When he went to the monastery, the Ajahn lectured him on what he should do. When he returned home, his wife lectured him on what he should do. The Ajahn was telling him to stop doing that, and his wife was egging him on to continue doing it. What to do

　　 What a lot of suffering. Born into this world, we have to suffer like this….

　　…

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