In the end, his wife had to let go too. So they stopped killing frogs. He worked in his field, tending his buffaloes. Then he got the habit of releasing fish and frogs. When he saw fish caught in nets he would set them free. Once he went to a friend”s house and saw some frogs in a pot, and he set them free. Then his friend”s wife came to prepare dinner. She opened the lid of the pot and saw the frogs were gone. They figured out what had happened. “It”s that guy with the heart of merit.”
She did manage to catch one frog, and made a chili paste with it. They sat down to eat, and as he went to dip his ball of rice in the chili, she said, “Hey, heart of merit! You shouldn”t eat that! It”s frog chili paste.”
This was too much. What a lot of grief, just being alive and trying to feed oneself! Thinking about it, he couldn”t see any way out. He was already an old man, so he decided to ordain.
He prepared the ordination gear, shaved his head, and went inside the house. As soon as his wife saw his shaved head, she started crying. He pleaded with her: “Since I was born, I haven”t had the chance to ordain. Please give me your blessing to do this. I want to ordain, but I will disrobe and return home again.” So his wife relented.
He ordained in the local monastery, and after the ceremony he asked the preceptor what he should do. The preceptor told him, “If you”re really doing this seriously, you ought to just go to practice meditation. Follow a meditation master; don”t stay here near th, e houses.” He understood, and decided to do that. He slept one night in the temple and in the morning took his leave, asking where he could find Ajahn Tongrat.
He shouldered his bowl and wandered off, a new monk who couldn”t yet put on his robes very neatly. But he found his way to Ajahn Tongrat.
“Tahn Ajahn, I have no other aim in life. I want to offer my body and my life to you.”
Ajahn Tongrat replied, “Very good! Lots of merit! You almost missed me. I was just about to go on my way. So do your prostrations and take a seat there.”
The new monk asked, “Now I”ve ordained. What should I do
”
It happened that they were sitting by an old tree stump. Ajahn Tongrat pointed to it and said, “Make yourself like this tree stump. Don”t do anything else, just make yourself like this tree stump.” He taught him meditation in this way.
So Ajahn Tongrat went on his way, and the monk stayed there to contemplate his words. “Ajahn taught to make myself like a tree stump. What am I supposed to do
” He pondered this continuously, whether walking, sitting, or lying down to sleep. He thought about the stump first being a seed, how it grew into a tree, got bigger and aged, and was finally cut down, just leaving this stump. Now that it is a stump, it won”t be growing anymore, and nothing will bloom from it. He kept on discussing this in his mind, considering it over and over, until it became his meditation object. He expanded it to apply to all phenomena and was able to turn it inwards and apply it to himself. “After a while, I am probably going to be like this stump, a useless thing.”
Realizing this gave him the determination not to disrobe. I saw him sometime later and asked, “Is your wife still living
”
“Don”t know. I haven”t heard any news of her.” (note: another episode that may seem hard-hearted without explanation. In rural Thailand, older men or women leaving home to spend their last years in robes is not unusual, and in the villages the spouse who stays behind will have something of an extended family.)
His mind was made up at this point; he had the conditions come together to get him to this stage. When the mind is like this, there won”t be anything that can stop it. All of us are in the same boat. Please think about this and try to apply it to your practice. B…
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