..续本文上一页hat year I spent the rains there.

　　It was a village of Karen and Yang hilltribesmen, with about six or seven households. There was no level ground at all — nothing but mountains and hills. The place where I stayed was at the foot of a hill, a little less than a kilometer from the village, near a flowing stream. The weather was bitter cold both day and night. I reached there the day before Asalha Puja, and on the day we took our vows to spend the rains I started coming down with a fever.

　　This was a really primitive place. The people were all hilltribesmen, and my basic diet that rainy season consisted of salt, peppers and rice — that was all. No fish or meat. During the latter half of July I became seriously ill. Some days I almost lost consciousness.

　　One morning, at dawn, I tried to get up to go out for alms, but couldn”t. I felt dizzy and faint and was shivering so violently that my hut started shaking. I was all by myself — the monks with me had all gone out for alms. So I went to warm myself by a fire and began to feel a bit better.

　　I suffered like this all through the rains. I could hardly eat at all. During the entire three months, I was able to eat no more than ten mouthfuls of food a day. Some days I couldn”t eat anything at all. But my body and mind felt light, and my heart was at ease — not the least perturbed by my illness.

　　My symptoms got more serious on July 29. I started running a high fever and felt really faint — numb all over my body. This made me begin to have doubts about my survival. So I got up and took out my pouch of relics, wrapped it in an old worn-out shoulder cloth and placed it up high on a shelf. Then I made a resolution: "If you really are sacred, give me a sign. If I”m going to die here, I want you all to disappear." I then entered my umbrella tent and stilled my mind.

　　At dawn the next day I found the pouch and shoulder cloth in opposite sides of the room, but none of the relics were missing. They were still there, scattered all over the shelf where I had placed them. It looked as if I probably wouldn”t die that year, but would still be sick for a while longer.

　　One day I was thinking over events in the past and started feeling disgusted. So I made a resolution: "I”d like some good resources to have at my disposal in the future. If I don”t acquire them, I don”t want to leave the forest. 1) I want to attain supranatural powers. If I can”t, may I go all the way in seven days. Even if my life is to end during those seven days, I”m willing to give it up as an offering. 2) Wherever there are any good, quiet, restful spots, may the forest spirits lead me there." After making my resolution I sat in meditation. A vision appeared: a bright light and a cave reaching clear through a mountain. It occurred to me, "If I enter this cave, I”ll probably go all the way through." But just as I decided to go right then and there, I started feeling so faint that my body swayed. I had to grab hold of one of the posts in the hut — so that was as far as I got.

　　After that, my illness slowly began to recede. One day I took one of my followers out looking for wood to make into charcoal so that I could have a fire to keep myself warm at night. The next day a boy from the village told me, "It”s not good for a sick person to go looking for firewood. There”s an old saying that a sick person looking for fire-wood is looking for wood for his funeral pyre." The boy”s name was Teng, and he was a little deranged. He went on to say, "I really have it hard. Every night spirits come and pull my legs and won”t let me get any sleep." I didn”t pay him any attention.

　　Late one night, when it was quiet and I was feeling really ill, I set some charcoal stoves all around myself. After I had dozed off for a moment, a woman dressed in white, …

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