..续本文上一页recognise that, you”re not trying to convince yourself that it is otherwise. You”re fully aware of the way things are: what do you do when you”re up-tight, tense and nervous

　　 You relax.

　　In my first years with Ajahn Chah, I used to be very serious about meditation sometimes, I really got much too grim and solemn about myself. I would lose all sense of humour and just get DEAD SERIOUS, all dried up like an old twig. I would put forth a lot of effort, but it would be so strung up and unpleasant, thinking, ”I”ve got to ... I”m too lazy”. I felt such terrible guilt if I wasn”t meditating all the time -- a grim, joyless state of mind. So I watched that, meditating on myself as a dried stick. When the whole thing was totally unpleasant, I would just remember the opposites, ”You don”t have to do anything. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. Be peaceful with the way things are now, relax, let go.” I”d use that.

　　When your mind gets into this condition, apply the opposite, learn to take things easy. You read books about not putting any effort into things -- ”just let it happen in a natural way” -- and you think, ”All I have to do is lounge about.” Then you usually lapse into a dull, passive state. But that is the time when you need to put forth a bit more effort.

　　With anapanasati, you can sustain effort for one inhalation. And if you can”t sustain it for one inhalation, then do it for half an inhalation at least. In this way, you”re not trying to become perfect all at once. You don”t have to do everything just right, because of some idea of how it could be, but you work with the kind of problems as they are. But if you have a scattered mind, then it is wisdom to recognise the mind that goes all over the place -- that”s insight. To think that you shouldn”t be that way, to hate yourself or feel discouraged because that is the way you happen to be -- that”s ignorance.

　　With anapanasati, you recognise the way it is now and you start from there: you sustain your attention a little longer and you begin to understand what concentration is, making resolutions that you can keep. Don”t make Superman resolutions when you”re not Superman. Do anapanasati, for ten or fifteen minutes rather than thinking you can do it the whole night, ”I”m going to do anapanasati from now until dawn.” Then you fail and become angry. You set periods that you know you can do. Experiment, work with the mind until you understand how to put forth effort, how to relax.

　　Anapanasati is something immediate. It takes you to insight -- vipassana. The impermanent nature of the breath is not yours, is it

　　 Having been born, the body breathes all on its own. In and out breaths -- the one conditions the other. As long as the body is alive, that is the way it will be. You don”t control anything, breathing belongs to nature, it doesn”t belong to you, it is not-self. When you observe this, you are doing vipassana, insight. It”s not something exciting or fascinating or unpleasant. It”s natural.

　　==Walking Mindfully (Jongrom) ==

　　Walking ”Jongrom”[4] is a practice of concentrated walking whereby you”re with the movement of your feet. You bring your attention to the walking of the body from the beginning of the path to the end, turning around, and the body standing. Then there arises the intention to walk, and then the walking. Note the middle of the path and the end, stopping, turning, standing: the points for composing the mind when the mind starts wandering everywhichway. You can plan a revolution or something while walking jongrom if you”re not careful! How many revolutions have been plotted during jongrom walking ...

　　 So, rather than doing things like that, we use this time to concentrate on what”s actually going on. These aren”t fantastic sensations, they”re so ordinary that we don”…

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