..续本文上一页of it, trying to achieve and attain rather than humbly being content with one breath. The success of anapanasati is just that much -- mindful for the length of one inhalation, for the length of one exhalation. Establish your attention at the beginning and the end -- or beginning, middle and end. This gives you some definite points for reflection, so that if your mind wanders a lot during the practice, you pay special attention, scrutinising the beginning, the middle and the end. If you don”t do this then the mind will tend to wander.

　　All our effort goes into just that; everything else is suppressed during that time, or discarded. Reflect on the difference between inhalation and exhalation -- examine it. Which do you like best

　　 Sometimes the breathing will seem to disappear; it becomes very fine. The body seems to be breathing by itself and you get this strange feeling that you”re not going to breathe. It”s a bit frightening.

　　But this is an exercise; you centre on the breathing, without trying to control it at all. Sometimes when you are concentrating on the nostrils, you feel that the whole body is breathing. The body keeps breathing, all on its own.

　　Sometimes we get too serious about everything -- totally lacking in joy and happiness, no sense of humour; we just repress everything. So gladden the mind, be relaxed and at ease, taking all the time in the world, without the pressure of having to achieve anything important: nothing special, nothing to attain, no big deal. It”s just a little thing; even when you have only one mindful inhalation during the morning, that is better than what most people are doing -- surely it is better than being heedless the whole time.

　　If you”re a really negative person then try to be someone who is kinder and more self-accepting. Just relax and don”t make meditation into a burdensome task for yourself. See it as an opportunity to be peaceful and at ease with the moment. Relax your body and be at peace.

　　You”re not battling with the forces of evil. If you feel averse towards anapanasati, then note that, too. Don”t feel that it is something you have to do, but see it as a pleasure, as something you really enjoy doing. You don”t have to do anything else, you can just be completely relaxed. You”ve got all you need, you”ve got your breathing, you just have to sit here, there is nothing difficult to do, you need no special abilities, you don”t even need to be particularly intelligent. When you think, ”I can”t do it”, then just recognise that as resistance, fear or frustration and then relax.

　　If you find yourself getting all tense and up-tight about anapanasati, then stop doing it. Don”t make it into a difficult thing, don”t make it into a burdensome task. If you can”t do it, then just sit. When I used to get in terrible states, then I would just contemplate ”peace”. I would start to think, ”I”ve got to ... I”ve got to ... I”ve got to do this.” Then I”d think, ”Just be at peace, relax.”

　　Doubts and restlessness, discontent, aversion -- soon I was able to reflect on peace, saying the word over and over, hypnotising myself, ”relax, relax”. The self doubts would start coming, ”I”m getting nowhere with this, it”s useless, I want to get something.” Soon I was able to be peaceful with that. You can calm down and when you relax, you can do anapanasati. If you want something to do, then do that.

　　At first, the practice can get very boring; you feel hopelessly clumsy like when you are learning to play the guitar. When you first start playing, your fingers are so clumsy, it seems hopeless, but once you have done so for some time, you gain skill and it”s quite easy You”re learning to witness to what is going on in your mind, so you can know when you”re getting restless and tense, averse to everything, you …

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