An Heir to the Dhamma
A talk given to the monks at Wat Pa Baan Taad.
The ordinary mind — no matter whose — when it doesn”t yet have any standards and meets up with things that drag it here and there in the wrong directions, will tend to go rolling after those preoccupations without let-up, to the point where it can”t find any foundation for sustaining its peace and calm. In terms of the Dhamma, these preoccupations are called defilements.
We can see them when we begin to practice: The mind stumbles and crawls along, not at all willing to follow the Dhamma, because the defilements are strong. This is something I haven”t forgotten, from the time I first set out to practice up until now, because it”s a truth that lies embedded in the heart. How could I forget
From the very start of my practice, I was really in earnest — because that”s the sort of person I was. I wouldn”t just play around. Wherever I would take my stance, that”s how it would have to be. When I set out to practice, I had only one book — the Patimokkha — in my shoulder bag. Now I was going for the full path and the full results. I was going to give it my all — give it my life. I wasn”t going to hope for anything else. I was going to hope for nothing but release from suffering. I was sure that I would attain release from suffering in this lifetime. All I asked was that there be someone who could show me that the paths, fruitions, and nibbana were for real. I would give my life to that person and to the Dhamma through the practice, without holding anything back. If I was to die, I”d die with the practice. I wouldn”t die with retreat. My heart was set like a stone post.
The first rains after I had set out to practice, I spent in Cakkaraad District, Korat Province, because I hadn”t been able to catch up with Venerable Acariya Mun. I began accelerating my efforts as soon as I got there, and it wasn”t long before my mind attained stillness, because I was practicing both day and night. I wasn”t willing to do any other work aside from the work of concentration practice — sitting and walking meditation — in my own stumbling and crawling way. My mind was able to quiet down, so I really accelerated my efforts; but then, as I”ve told you before, it regressed when I was making a klod. 2 Up to that point, I was no mean hand at concentration. It was really solid. I was sure that the paths, fruitions, and nibbana were for real, because the mind was really solid. It wasn”t affected by anything at all. But even then it still managed to regress just because I made a single klod.
When I reached Venerable Acariya Mun, he taught me the Dhamma as if it came straight out of his heart. He would never use the words, ”It seems to be...,” because it really came right out of his heart — how he had practiced, what he had known and seen. It was as if he kept saying, ”Right here. Right here.” So did he see or didn”t he
Did he know or didn”t he
”Right here.” Where were the paths, fruitions, and nibbana
”Right here. Right here.” My mind was convinced, really convinced. From that point on I made a resolution: As long as he was still alive, I wouldn”t leave him until either he died or I did. As for going off from time to time to practice on my own, I”d ask to do that as a matter of course, but I”d take him as my base, as if my home were with him. No matter where I”d go, I”d have to return to him. So then I stepped up my efforts full speed.
That dream I had — I”ll never forget it. I”ve told you all this dream before, but it had such an impact on me that it bears telling again. I had come to stay with him and made my resolution with full conviction, with complete faith in him. There was no point on which you could fault him. Whatever he did, inwardly or outwardly, was right in line with the pri…
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