..续本文上一页 Then you want to fight with it, get rid of it, hopefully destroy it, and burn it and bury it, and be peaceful, we hope.

　　However, if we can have a more peaceful attitude, some of this stuff can come out of the closet and we can see it in a different way -- you can see it as it really is. And, when we begin to see it as it really is, without all the subjective stuff, all the subjective colouring: "It”s a threat to me. That hurts me…," with the point of view: "This is just a thought, this is just a memory, this is just a feeling, this is just a sensation", it looses its personal emotional sting. At the very least we can neutralize it to a certain degree. Because the whole nature of it is based upon our relationship to these things. For example, if you notice that something like physical pain comes along, and as soon as you say, "pain" or "it is me and my pain", you get stuck with this dualistic relationship -- me and my pain. And our usual way is trying to get rid of it: I want to get rid of my pain. Of course, it is quite absurd -- how can I get rid of my pain, because it is me

　　 – That sort of fight goes on.

　　But if we see it with awareness then it is a different story. First of all we are not identifying with it, "it”s my pain". There is a particular sensation just happening in this time, at this place, and at one level that at least cuts off the memories and associations we have built up around it. And if a new "old" pain comes along, we would say it”s just like last time that happened. And so we get caught in this repeating the same old patterns based upon memories, not on what is happening right now -- this moment, this particular sensation, at this particular place, in this particular state of mind.

　　The first time when I was in Sri Lanka I had a little hut in a monastery. Two of us came there and there were two little huts and so we drew straws who got which hut – and I got the nice one, I got the one with the mosquito screens. That was a real success, because it was in the lowlands, surrounded by a swamp, so had lots of mosquitoes. So I thought "Ha, I really got the good straw this time, for a change." So I went to this little hut and I was thinking that I was really safe from all the mosquitoes. But the problem with mosquito-screens is that it keeps some out, but when one gets in, it cannot get out. So the night came and I closed all the doors and windows and I thought I was safe. I sat in there and then "zzzzzzz" – one mosquito! And of course – because it was my first experience of mosquitoes, I thought "mosquito equals malaria". So whenever this thing was buzzing around in the room it was OK. But whenever it stopped buzzing, I knew it had landed somewhere, probably on me. Well, needless to say I could not sleep the whole night. I would sit there for a few minutes and as long it was buzzing it was OK, and then it stopped and I jumped up, and then it started buzzing again…

　　I could not sleep the whole night for this one mosquito. The next morning I told my friend. He did not have any mosquito-screens in his place. He said: "I had no problem sleeping." So I said, "What about malaria

　　" He said, "There are no malaria-mosquitoes here." Of course, it was a Buddhist monastery and I could not kill the mosquito. It would have been OK for the mosquito to kill me -- malaria, heart-attack maybe, or something.

　　But just by having this particular way of thinking, we can create so much extra suffering for ourselves. Later I learned, after many years, lessons of mosquitoes. Has anybody been to Thailand

　　 I can give you an unedited copy of my book "The secret life of mosquitoes". If you let the mosquito bite you, it bites you once and flies away and finish, you can get back to sleep again. But the worrying about it, the worrying about bein…

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