..续本文上一页g bitten once kept me awake the whole night!
But if we can have a more friendly attitude towards some of these things that we usually relate to as being negative or unpleasant, it changes the whole situation around. And the point is that what we defined as negative is relative to my point of view -- my ego, in other words. So what happens is, when we meet some unpleasant situation, we say "Oh, I´ve got a problem". As soon as we define it that way we have stopped, locked into and now solidified the whole flow of reality.
Friendly Enemies
What awareness tells us is: there are sensations. They arise and they pass away. They come and they go. And one sensation comes along and you say "ouch – that”s pain" and rather than allowing it to cease, to go through its lifespan, we try to get hold of it with our mind, identify with it and say "ah, that is painful, I”ve got a painful situation to deal with." And we are locked into this relationship, and most of the time that is what the real problem is; between this "me and my problem, me and my problem".
If we can change our attitude, for example, have a little bit more of an open and peaceful attitude, what happens is, since If you are friendly to your enemy what happens to them Simple! They are just half an enemy! But when we define them as an enemy, they stay that way. The enemies you see get reinforced by looking upon all the negative things about them: they are the ugliest and the dirtiest and all the worst, etc, etc. But if you change your attitude, being at least a bit more friendly towards them saying, "Well – they are human beings too. Maybe they even have a few friends, they might even have a little dog, or even a black cat like ours." Then suddenly they are not such an extreme enemy anymore. Okay, you don”t have to like them. They still maybe have their unpleasant aspects, but they aren”t a hundred percent bad, negative and all the rest of it. And practicably speaking, maybe they are still ninety percent your enemy, but ten percent changes, and then there is a possibility of some different way of relating. A ten percent possibility of something different. The same with this relationship with the so-called "unpleasant". We have created this "it is me", we have held on to "me" as a certain person who has this pain, this problem. Identify with that and it is fixed. The problem is fixed. And we also have to accept some kind of strange aspects of human nature -- we even like that, at least we know who we are. If I have a problem, I know who I am – I´m the one with a problem! However, having a more friendly attitude to the problem at least opens it up, it allows a bit more flexibility. And if we can develop this we see the results, we see the benefits and it can increase, providing a lot more flexibility in this relationship. I mean, it is a bit too idealistic to say: "Well, really there is no "me", so there is no problem." But "ouch", it still hurts. Some of these so-called negative things are well-supported by our memories. Friendly Change If we can continue with this practice of friendliness, really, we change. Our ego is that which wants to be in control and just get rid of this and get rid of that, so that it has its own little island of control. But to be able to be peaceful and friendly towards all things, you have got to give up your ego position, and allow everything to be just as it is. Who can do that Do you allow things to be just as they are "Yes, well, but… that is not so nice, I don”t like this, . . ." That does not mean that you have to agree with everything, and everything is wond… 《The Practice of Metta in Insight Meditation》全文未完，请进入下页继续阅读…