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付出的應當多一些，取得的最好少一點。
When giving you should be generous; when taking you should take a little less.
朋友之間的維系，不是只靠感情成就，還得有「義」存乎其間；若單靠感情，這樣的交往只能濃郁一時，卻不會芬芳久長。朋友是這樣，古代的君臣或現時社會的雇主員工關系也是這樣；甚至夫婦之間，還是一樣要以義相合，才能維系得長久而和諧。所謂「君子之交淡如水，小人之交甜如蜜」；誰能天天吃蜜糖而不膩呢？水雖淡而無味，卻不可一日或缺。
Friendship is based on more than affection; a sense of duty should also exist between friends. A friendship based solely on affection will be strong only for a while; the good feelings will not last long. Not only is this true of friendships, it also applies to the relationship between kings and officials of old and between managers and workers of modern society. Even between husband and wife, there must be a sense of duty to make the relationship long-lasting and harmonious. There is a saying: The relationship between superior people is as plain as water. The relationship between petty people is as sweet as honey. Who could eat honey day after day and not get tired of it
Water is plain and flavorless, yet we cannot go without it for a single day.
既然以上這些人倫關系都得靠「義」來維系，而義者，宜也；什麼又是最適宜的呢？那就是要互相勸善規過。我們若是一味愛護，有過不規，就是自己虧了義氣；更糟的，對方還可能因了我們的縱容、姑息，而一錯再錯，終至身敗名裂，那這又該是誰的過錯呢？
All of the above relationships are based on duty, and "duty" is defined as what is appropriate. What is the most appropriate way to act
It is to urge one another toward goodness and correct one another”s faults. If we merely love and protect our friends but fail to exhort them to change their faults, we will have been lacking in integrity .Even worse, due to our leniency our friends may make one mistake after another until they are totally ruined. Who is then at fault
有位十分寵愛兒子的母親，兒子小時偶爾打架偷東西，她都護短，說﹕「孩子還小，不懂事！再說又不是什麼大不了的錯！」就一味姑息。兒子越大，偷得越多越厲害，母親想管也管不了了，只好由著他，甚至還幫他掩飾，終至兒子犯下滔天重罪被處死刑。臨刑，孩子要求母親再喂他口奶；結果他狠狠地咬下母親的乳頭，母親痛得差點沒昏過去。死刑犯也哭了，對母親說﹕「你若早知道痛，在我小時就管教我；我哪會墮落到這地步呢？你是用你的愛害了我啊 ！」
Once there was a mother who adored and spoiled her son. When he was little, he would sometimes fight or steal, but she would defend him, saying, "He”s still young and doesn”t understand anything. Anyhow, he hasn”t committed any serious wrongdoing." She was always lenient with him. The older he grew, the more he stole and the craftier he became. Eventually the mother had no way to discipline him. She could only let him do as he pleased; she even helped cover up for him. Finally the son committed a major crime and was sentenced to death. Before his execution, he requested his mother to feed him her breast milk. When his request was granted, he fiercely bit off his mother”s nipple. She nearly fainted from the pain. The criminal also wept and said to his mother, "If only you could have felt the pain earlier and disciplined me when I was little, would I have ended up like this
Your love has ruined me!"
相反的，我們若能恪盡言責，不但守住義理，對方也因此道德增上，那真是雙方的褔氣！所以，能規勸人，固然是有才有德；能接受規勸，更是有德有量。
Conversely, if we speak when we are supposed to, not only do we maintain our integrity, we cause others to develop their morality, resulting in blessings for both sides. If we are able to exhort and remonstrate with others, we have both talent and virtue. If we can accept others” remonstrance, we are both virtuous and tolerant.
漢朝中興之主光武帝，便是有德有量的君主。有一回光武帝出郊打獵，獵得高興了，竟忘了時間已晚；車騎回到東城門口時，已是半夜了。鎮守東門的郅恽就是不開門；而且，第二天早朝時，郅恽更直言指責皇帝有二過；知法犯法是其一，畋獵無度是其二。光武帝畢竟是個英明有爲的君主，非但沒生氣，還當衆認錯，又賞賜郅恽一百匹布，以嘉獎他的盡職。
Emperor Guangwu, whose reign was in the middle of the Han Dynasty, was an example of virtue and tolerance. Once the emperor went out hunting and was so engrossed in the pleasure of the hunt that he did not notice the time. When his carriage reached the east gate of the city, it was already midnight. The guard refused to open the gate. The following morning, the guard bluntly admonished the emperor for two faults: first, knowing the ru…
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