..續本文上一頁ill not yield in the least. Only aware of their own discomfort, they never give any consideration to others” difficulties. When they are growing up at home, they complain about small things, such as: "How come my brother can go out to play, and I can”t

　　" "How come Sis has new clothes, and I don”t

　　" They complain about every little thing that they think is "not fair." What happens when they get upset over things not being fair

　　 They fight! They argue! As children they bicker over small things, but by the time they grow up they contend over big things. At home they bicker with their brothers and sisters; at school they argue with their classmates; and in society they contend with their fellow citizens. With such competition over fame and profit at all levels of society, how can chaos not result

　　 Therefore, only by starting at home and teaching children to lessen their desires, to be patient with unfairness, and to learn to take losses, can we stop people from contending.

　　有個朋友生了叁個女兒，每次領薪水，不是給女兒買玩具，就是買衣服；而且買的衣服，一定一式叁套。我以經濟的眼光勸他：“小孩長得快，衣服馬上就太小不能穿了，一套衣服可以姐妹傳著穿嘛！”她卻情緒激動地叫起來：“爲什麼做妹妹的就得穿舊衣？”我嚇了一跳，賠小心又試探地問：“那也可以每人買個不同式樣的吧？”“不行！式樣不同也是不公平。要是她們認爲另一件比自己的好，不是要爭了嗎？我受夠了我媽的不公平待遇，絕對不再讓孩子因爲不公平而受傷害。”

　　I have a friend who has three daughters. Every time she gets paid, she goes out to buy toys or clothing for them. And when she buys clothes, she always gets three sets of the same thing. Thinking economically, I advised her, "Children grow very fast and outgrow their clothes almost immediately. Why don”t you buy one of everything and let them hand it down from the older to the younger sisters

　　" I was taken aback by her sharp retort: "Why should the younger ones always have to wear hand-me-downs

　　" I cautiously tried to make another suggestion: "Well, at least they could each buy a different style, couldn”t they

　　" "No. If the style is different, it”s not fair either. If they thought someone else”s was better than theirs, they”d start bickering. I had enough of my mother”s unfair treatment, and I”ll never let my own children undergo that kind of injustice."

　　後來我才知道；原來她是家中叁姐妹的老二，自小總覺得父母看重老大，憐惜老麼，自己是最受忽略的一個；因此常與母親及姐妹爭，已很多年不與母親及姐妹來往了。過了十年，我聽說她的叁個女兒不但也是彼此不合，還都很怨恨她，她過得很寂寞。由此可見，力求表面的公平，或盡量用物質去滿足孩子，仍無法教孩子不爭啊！說起來，還是從心地下工夫來得根本。只要能教孩子寡欲，孩子又有什麼可爭的呢？只要能教孩子忍不平，孩子又怎麼吵得起來呢？

　　Later I found out that she was the second of three sisters. Ever since she was little, she felt her parents had favored the eldest and adored the youngest, but had neglected her. That”s why she had always quarreled with her mother and sisters, and had not communicated with them for many years. Ten years later, I heard that not only did her three daughters not get along, but they all blamed her, and so she was very lonely. From this, we can see that insisting on superficial fair treatment or trying to please kids with material things is not the way to teach them how not to contend. The fundamental solution is to work on their hearts and minds. If we can teach children to reduce their desires, what could they possibly contend about？ If we can teach them to tolerate unfair treatment, how could they possibly get into arguments

　　古詩說得好：

　　An ancient poem puts it well:

　　兄弟同居忍便安，

　　莫因毫末起爭端；

　　眼前生子又兄弟，

　　皆與兒孫作樣看。

　　With patience,

　　we can get along well with our brothers and sisters.

　　Do not start fights over little things.

　　As siblings, we ought to set a good example

　　for our children and grandchildren to follow.

　　所謂毫末，就是不重要的。什 麼是不重要的？財物是不重要的，名也是不重要的，男女私情也是不重要的，因爲那些都是無常的。什麼又是重要的？人格道德是最重要的，因爲那是不朽的。而人格道德的培育，自孝悌做起。況且自己不知孝悌，當然也教不來兒女孝悌，那就要自嘗苦果了。如是因，如是果，可不慎哉？

　　Little things means trivial matters. What is trivial

　　 Wealth is trivial, and so is fame and romance, because none of them are lasting. What is important

　　 Integrity and moral virtue are the most important things, because they never perish. The development of integrity and virtue begins with filial piety and fraternal respect. If we ourselves do not understand how to be good to our own parents and siblings, then of course we can”t teach our children to be good to their parents and siblings, and we”ll have to suffer the bitter consequences. As is the cause, so will be the result. How can we not take heed

《弟子規淺釋 Standards for Students 第叁章﹕悌 Chapter Three﹕ FRATERNITY - 2》全文閱讀結束。