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只有用道理来使他人信服，别人才没话可说。
If we lead them with principles, then they won”t feel oppressed and abused.
中国明朝时，有个叫洪自诚的人，综合了儒、释、道三家的菁华，写了一部《菜根谭》，对于待人接物，居家处世等道理，有十分深刻睿智的阐发。其中说到﹕「家人有过，不宜暴怒，不宜轻弃。此事难言，藉他事隐讽之；今日不悟，俟来日再警之。如春风解冻，如和气消冰，才是家庭的典范。」
During the Ming Dynasty in China, an author named Hong Zichen integrated the essence of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism into Discourses Regarding the Roots of Vegetables. In this publication, Hong Zichen expounded immensely profound and wise principles with regard to interacting with people and things, to maintaining a household and to handling mundane business. He mentioned in the book that, "When family members make a mistake, we should not become angry and give up too easily. If an issue is difficult to discuss, then use other matters to allude to the issue at hand. If family members do not understand immediately, then warn them again at another time. The model for families should resemble the spring wind that melts deep-freezes or the balmy air that thaws ice."
《朱子治家格言》上也说到﹕「刻薄成家，理无久享。」这是说，居家待人要宽厚才能维持长久；但虽说要宽厚，却又要有严格的规矩，不但要长幼有序，也要内外有别。所以《朱子治家格言》上又强调说﹕「长幼内外，宜法肃辞严。」有的人，或者待人宽厚，却往往失之过宽，而变成没内没外，没大没小；或者言行端正，却往往失之过严，而令人敬而远之。中庸之道是律己端整，待人宽和；就算是自家人，也应相敬如宾，不宜过分狎昵。
Mr. Chu”s Proverbs on Managing the Household also said, " A household established on miserliness will not last." This is to say that one must be generous and tolerant in treating others and running a home to make family ties lasting. Although you should be generous in maintaining a home and treating people, you must also have some strict rules that ensure levels of seniority between the old and the young and differentiation between insiders and outsiders. At the same time, Mr. Chu”s Proverbs on Managing the Householdemphasized that "We should apply serious methods and stern words toward elders, youngsters, insiders and outsiders." Some people may treat others generously but make the mistake of being too lenient, thus blurring the line between insiders and outsiders. In contrast, some people speak and behave in an upright manner, but make the mistake of being too severe, thus causing people to respectfully keep their distance. The middle way in conducting oneself properly and treating others generously and harmoniously, is to regard family members as if they were guests and not be overly intimate.
中国汉朝时有位好官刘宽，他修养一流，不但不轻易动怒，管理人民也很宽厚。人民犯了罪，他不用重刑，至多用蒲草做的鞭子，轻轻打几下就算了。有一次，刘宽穿着便服，坐着牛车出门去。半路上，有个农民拦住路，硬说那是他家走丢了的牛。刘宽也不和他争辩，就下车走路回家。隔几天，那个农民找回他的牛，又打听出来，原来让他这头牛的竟是大官刘宽；急忙牵牛去还，并跪着认罪。刘宽很温和地说﹕「东西有相似的地方，事情有误会的时候。你又不是故意的，有什么罪？你起来，回去吧！」这一回，那农民连轻轻的蒲鞭都没挨一下。
During the Han Dynasty in China, there was a benevolent government official named Liu Kuan. His cultivation was first-rate; not only was he tolerant and mild-tempered, but he was also very generous and kind to the people. Whenever a local resident violated the law, he refused to use the more severe forms of punishment. At the most, he would lightly spank the offender a few times with a whip made of rushes. Once when Liu was traveling in his oxcart dressed in civilian clothes, a farmer blocked Liu”s path and insisted that the ox Liu was riding was the one the farmer had lost. Liu didn”t even argue with him; instead Liu stepped off the cart and walked home. A few days later, the farmer found his ox and realized that the ox he had claimed belonged to the high-ranking officer Liu Kuan, so he rushed to return Liu” s ox, even kneeling to apologize. Liu warmly said to him, "Sometimes things appear similar; mistakes are bound to happen. Since you didn”t do this on purpose, what crime have you committed
Get up and run along!" That time, the farmer didn”t even receive a light beating.
因为刘宽修养太好了，他的夫人就想试试他，是不是真的不会发脾气。一天早晨刘宽穿好了朝服，准备去觐见皇帝；他的夫人就叫老妈子端了一碗热汤，给他当早点吃，但…
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